A New Financial Scheme

Sunday, April 27, 2008 |

So here is a random thought I had tonight whilst watching Our Mutual Friend(an old BBC miniseries). Why on EARTH don't I make people pay me for information??? This is an industry I totally need to get into.

Me telling people crap=big bucks. How can this be a bad idea? I have sooo much information on my hands that could be put to good use paying off student loans and my credit card. Look at this dude. He is an actor named David Bradley. He is Filch in the Harry Potter movies and he was also in the BBC version of Vanity Fair(sooooo good). He inevitable gets paid off for giving info to investigators or blackmailers in every movie he is in.

He just looks like you need to pay him 20 bucks to go away and take his smell with him.......if not 100 bucks for info and then to go away with his bad self.

Is it my creepy factor? Do I not look like I have the kind of seedy info that people need to pay me for? On TV, PI's constantly pay people for dishing info. I really want to get in on that action.

Maybe I need to move to a city that has docks. Dallas has a shocking lack of waterfront sleaze property where info is bought and sold. Maybe working downtown on Harry Hines when I start at Children's will help me to enter the "lucrative info" industry. That is about the seediest location I can go.

I think I need to into a higher class level of info sales if you get my drift. For my own safety as well as I don't want to have to cultivate a smell. I see all kinds of suburban stuff and I've kept my mouth shut up till now. I think Plano and Frisco have no idea the resource I could be if I was paid well. Cha-ching! You have no idea the kind of drama I see at the Coit and 190 Walmart after 12 on a Saturday night... when the truly evil pick up food for Sunday potlucks. And you can find out about who I've seen there for only $20 (per person, some restrictions apply, 20 for 1st minute, and 48.95 for each addtl. minute).

Who danced with who at the dance you didn't go to? ( oh yes...I know..... and I also know YOU were not there ...and by YOU I mean .....everyone I know pretty much).

Who sat by who the Sunday you were out of town?( Yes, you could ask someone else, but ask yourself....who pays more attention this stuff ME or someone else??? I rest my case)

I foresee grand sums of money coming my way, Gold Doubloons, Kohl's Cards, Sweet Sweet Cash.

Erica's Sweet Info Hook-up is now Open for Bid'ness. And no I don't take credit cards.


Alison said...

You're killin' me! :)

JaneHeiress said...

Sounds like you've got a pretty sound business plan there!

I love that dude as Riderhood in OMF. And can you believe that the creepy Mr. Headstone played Brandon in Sense & Sensibility? He's so convincing in both parts. I never made it through that version of Vanity Fair. I have a hard time connecting with stories where there is no one to like. But maybe I'll try it again sometime, since it's about the only classic miniseries of the last 15 years I haven't seen.

Erica said...

I am so thoroughly grossed out every tiem I see that dude! He is GOOOD at his roles.

Also- not seeing the BBC Vanity Fair is a crime. It is WAY WAY WAY good. And you know I've seen alot of BBC miniseries. For some reason also it has made me hear "We are all Enlisted" as a French Dance Hall Drinking song too. Is that good or bad? You can decide. It makes me giggle and sing louder though.

Erica said...

A) I can spell- I just can't type.

B) I also wanted to say Holy Crud that Mr. Headstone is ICKY in OMF and makes me think he's secretly violent as Brandon. Poor Marianne.

OK now my commenting is done.

Rhia Jean said...

Ummmm...please don't ever do business or bid'ness on Harry Hines....I'm just sayin'.

The Oakleys said...

I can just imagine you working on Harry Hines! You crack me up!