Dearest Kohl's,
We have been lovahs for some time now, but I have always been bothered by something, now more than ever. You seem to give your love away at a discount all the darn time. I am now having trouble during our secret rendezvous telling whether I am really being given a special price or not. It seems that every day is a holiday or a reason to give it away practically for free. I have no problem with you being cheap. I love you more for it. I just feel a little like the person who came to help the kid who cried wolf. Tell me when it's really a sale different from every other day of the week and I will come. For now I am too distraught and confused. Super Sale, 6 hour Sale, Early Bird Sale, Amazing Sale Days, Sale-a-thon. Not that I could stay away for long. I am addicted to you like crack. And when I move into an apartment I'm sure I'll have little reminders of you all over my new place. But please- be more honest. I need it to mean something to you too.
E
