Yet Another Crack Induced Dream? Or Future Reality?

So last night I couldn't sleep much cause my side hurt like heck. My mom and I are assuming I pulled something trying to walk shelter dogs on saturday who were not used to walking and tried to run as free as the wind blows when we got out the door. They were big doggies too. Anyways. Legs hurt, sides hurt.

So in the few initial hours of sleep before my pain woke me up.....I had a bizarre dream.

We were all at Sam's place for a party and everyone was sitting in a circle. People would get into the middle and tell stories or perform a talent to make us all laugh. More and more people kept arriving until it was like 75 people crammed in. I had just been watching the performers and I thought to myself that maybe I would do something but my mind was BLANK. No talent at all. And with more and more people.....I had no desire to be the center of attention.

I was trying desperately to think of how to entertain such a large crowd. Should I sing something? No too cheesy. Should I sing something badly on purpose? But what? Maybe tell a story? But what story? ARG!!!! (somehow the fact that I probably don't know anyone who is amazing in the entertaining area escaped me- in my dream there was all kinds of funny stuff being done in the circle by people I know are relatively lame in real life) So as I am contemplating what on earth I could do, I see Jermaine and Bret seated across the room. I think to myself "How the HECK did they get invited here?" and then suddenly my anxiety is much worse. I MUST do something funny as a way to get to introduce myself. Then I can get a funny boyfriend!! YESS !!! I could be your most beautiful girl in the room and we could eat kebabs! We could get married and wear business socks. AHHHH WHAT TO DO???!! My caliber of funny is just not enough in an on demand performance!! But I never thought of anything and then I woke up.

Tragedy. I am sure I would have received marriage proposals from them both had I just sang an Ashlee Simpson song or told some why I win the "worst date ever contest" stories. Or I could have done my fabulous karaoke to Bust a Move. Easy-peasy. What was I thinking in my sleep?!! Geez.

High School Tryouts- The Agony and The Ecst....Nope Just More Agony

Hey peeps. I had another bizarre dream last night (besides the Ashlee Simpson one) that I don't really remember, but it woke me up and I remember thinking to myself. I need to blog on this. Tryouts. Call lists. How did I HATE them and how glad am I to not have tryouts like that now.

Living in Texas, I tried out for my fair share of stuff. I was in choir in elementary school but that was no stress. That came in Junior High. I think the reason I had an unnatural hatred of tryouts is that looking back- I got shafted. A LOT! I tried out for Athletics in seventh grade. I made more baskets than anyone. I smoked them all in volleyball. I had a history of playing softball, soccer, and gymnastics. I think my one weakness is that I didn't run as fast as some other girls( I HATE running for no reason) but I was like top 3 on every other category. YET- somehow I didn't make it. Thinking back now I know something fishy went on. But it started my hatred of tryouts. Then came Tennis tryouts(don't even ask) and endless orchestra sectionals(at least they were over quickly) and UIL performances, and then the mother of them all......drill team tryouts. Like 3 years of them. Kill me now. I think of drill team every time I hear Garth Brooks singing Unanswered Prayers. One of God's greatest gifts was not making drill team. Amen Hallelujah. I am grateful every day. The teacher was angry at the judges for picking crappy dancers their daughters knew and I was all up in arms, but now I am like....THANK YOU NEPOTISM!!!

Looking back it seems like I was constantly being put on public trial. I am SOOO glad I am over that now. I mean I have awful job interviews and other hard things in life, but nothing that compares with having a week of drill team camp followed by teenage girl in life/death anxiety during the actual tryouts.

It seems like now as an adult I would be better equipped to deal with that type of stress. It's sad to think how much I worried about things that I now have so much perspective on. It is also bizarre to think how much of life it determined when we are young and don't know what we are doing. I mean....what if I HAD made athletics and thought that my gift in life was sports? How many of my nerdy pursuits would I have never even had time to try? Or thinking the opposite way....if I had been in sports would I be in better shape now? Hahaa.

Oh no wait. Crap I played soccer in high school. I guess I have no excuse other than laziness.

But anyways.....I was having some deep thoughts. Maybe I would be on my toes a bit more about life in general as an adult if I had those constant public humiliation opportunities like I did back in school. Or do the public humiliations and competitive atmosphere keep us from gaining maturity? Hmmmm. A thinker.

All I know is that my lazy easily-stressed out self appreciates no one making me show them what I can really do in front of my peers. So I probably don't have opportunities to shine but I am also saved from publicly tanking. Ahhhhhh sweet mediocrity. I salute thee.

Another Singing Nightmare(not me this time)

OK apparently my dreams have themes or something. Last night was a fabulously wierd one.

Let us jet back in time to about 6 years ago. I was in the imaginary version of the stake center that I often visit in my dreams(the one with a ladies locker room) and I was like BFFs with Ashlee Simpson before she hit it big.

So I am all......girl.....I heard the PERFECT song for you to sing. When I heard it I though this is perfect for Ashlee's voice. It will rock so hard.

And Ashlee is all...really? How does it go?

And I sing in a total monotone: All my girls stand in a circle and clap your hands ....this is for you. Ups and downs, highs and lows no matter what you see me through"

And Ashlee is all.....um....OK. Maybe I need to hear the original version.

And I'm all...TRUST ME it is a song and not the spoken word....just wait till the chorus. So I start in on the LO-LO-LOVE's and she's all yeah....Erica...I'm not so sure about that. It doesn't sound like a song or anything ...like maybe Frankenstein is singing it.

And I am all.....Ashlee I promise you if you do it - you will be a star!!!

So anyways. I then leave her and go into the massive locker room and think to myself. Holy COW!!! Did I just sing the ugliest most nonmelodic line in the world and tell Ashlee it made me think of her??!! Ooops. But I am sooo right. Her wierdo voice is the only one that can pull that off.

Tada. The end. So I sang bad but it was because it was an Ashlee Simpson song so you have to sing bad to get it to sound right.

A Singing Nightmare!

So last night I think I got my payback for squealing like a banshee at choir this past week.

I was apparently auditioning for the Nauvoo Musical Mission again. And I had prepared an audition tape like weeks before with someone playing accompaniment for me. I was listening to some other people's tapes and thinking to myself - ha- no way- I am sooo much better than these hacks. So then at the last minute I couldn't find my tape so I go searching everywhere frantically and other people were even helping me. I finally find the tape and of course then everyone wants to hear it. So I think it's gonna be simple and OK. I mean not fabulous but no major errors or anything.

So it starts playing......and I sound like the worst breathy voiced pitchy wanna-be american idol object of ridicule ever. I wanted to die. Then I spent the rest of my dream wondering how I could gracefully get out of auditioning when everyone already knew about it.

And I wondered to myself- Holy crap!! Do I need a hearing test cause how could I not know I sing like that???

So that's my nightmare. Probably actually a reality except for the Nauvoo part. Ug.