Dear Bloggie,
Since I had today off.....and totally slaved away yesterday....and totally didn't shop on Saturday.....I way deserved to shop today. So I did. No recriminations bloggie. It was some well needed me time. And as I was driving home tonight at 9pm I thought to myself...why do I love shopping so? (I also thought- I am glad I got lunch at 1 instead of "waiting til I get home to eat lunch" since my trip lasted a leeeetle bit longer than intended)
Here's another thinker bloggie- Why am I not on Project Runway since at least once a month I get an idea in my head for a whole outfit or maybe just one specific item that apparently does not in reality exist although it SHOULD. And I spend endless hours shopping for something that does not exist.
Let us review the items that I apparently cannot find.
1) A sweater dress made for a woman with boobs. Yes I said boobs. And all you flat girls bite me. I get to whine about clothes not fitting on my own blog darn it. I have literally tried on like 15 sweater dresses....not ONE of which fit me correctly. ARGGGGG!!!!!
2) A pair of grey knee high boots. For realz bloggie, this item has been my holy grail since 2006. I found one pair for about 400 dollars last year that were still not even exactly what I was looking for even if I was a lottery winner and didn't have monster calves that never fit in boots anyways. Even if I couldn't afford them or fit in them, to know my dream boots existed would make me happy. Right now those boots are like the rattle in your car that is not there when the mechanic drives it. Please prove that I'm not crazy !!! ACCIO BOOTS!!!
I am so frustrated by my search for jewelry that I resorted to going to Michael's and (beading) tonight. I would be ashamed of taking up the 12 yr old girls sleepover hobby, but I've been driven to it. DRIVEN bloggie. Over the edge it seems.
This obsessive need to locate the perfect item has occurred in the past. For example- my red hoodie search ended happily last summer at JC Penney after many years of fruitless searching and pining.
Do men understand this impulse at all bloggie? The need to find the item of your dreams? The pull of the sale rack? The satisfaction of buying a skirt at one store and shirt at another that totally match. And then finding amazing shoes later that were made for the outfit? The heavens smile down upon me sometimes, choirs sing, violins play, and a warm glow emanates from the "the perfect(and on SALE) outfit".
Bloggie....I see you looking at the shopping bags sitting in my room. Ummm.....(guilty smile)Listen, I am finished shopping for this week. Ok and next week too. I will totally be good and pay off more school stuff. And eat at home. And try to not buy another purse even though....
Ok one more
3) The perfect dark magenta soft leather purse. I see a bunch of wallets in the right color scheme but no purses. Where is my magenta purse??
Oh. Um. So yeah. I got distracted. What was I saying bloggie? Oh yeah. I promise not to buy stuff for a while. Apparently the fashion industry has your same interests at mind and won't make awesome stuff for me to buy anyways right now. Jerks.
Hey! I was calling them jerks, not you bloggie. You're so sensitive.
I was sitting at the temple last night laughing with my favorite mothers and grandmas and thinking to myself....wow.....sometimes when we are younger we think everyone else is SOOO old and we can't possible have anything in common. When you get to know people better and with maturity you realize you can be great friends with anyone. Some of the people with the spiciest and craziest comments on life are the most unexpected. There are still some people who you just never relate to and it's more a personality thing or they just don't want to relate to you.
So anyways I was on my grandma-hugs high last night and then went to my Zumba class this morning. Once again. Everyone's older than me but they are all lovely people.
Then I went to the Post Office. Where I encountered the actual generation gap. A poor little old lady was there and stood in line with a form in her hand to hold her mail. Of course it was not filled out. I appear to be the only person on the planet who gets harassed for not filling out forms before I get to the front. Everyone else gets kind understanding but whatever. So the lady gets to the front and tells the man "I refuse to fill out this form until someone explains it to me" I can already tell this is going to be greatness. So he says "Put on your address and then the dates you will not be home for us to hold your mail." So she says "It says it's a minimum of three days and I wanted to know if Sundays count since you don't deliver" So he says "Every day counts- just fill it out." So she says " Now I'm leaving Friday and will be back by Monday so you better get my mail to me Monday" And he's all "....ummm....I'm not personally going to be delivering your mail....sooo....we will follow whatever you say on the form" So then she walks off to fill it out and then leaves. So these are my thoughts on this exchange:
1) Old people who refuse to learn new technology seem to have a much worse generational gap.
2) I love it when old people talk to employees at large stores as if they were personally affiliated with the company or the owner or something. There's nothing better than an old person who has NO perspective on the corporate world we now live in. Please go to Walmart and tell the boy who is changing your oil in the Autocenter that the Bakery at the other Walmart doesn't make their blueberry donuts the same way anymore and you'd like to register a complaint.
3) Who on EARTH holds their mail for a weekend out of town when Saturday is the only mail she actually won't be there to receive? Old people apparently.
4) I love it when old people wear crazy clothes from catalogues(you know they don't sell magenta polyester slacks in stores anymore)with really bold makeup. (This is part of why I love my own grandma so much)
5) I love that they all go get their fluffy white hair permed (so it will curl) and then still hang out in rollers all day to control the curl. Greatness.
Ok. I gots ta go get lunch now. Much Love to the Grammies out there!! Peace out.
As I witnessed some atrocious crimes of fashion today, I feel it necessary to post......drum roll.....
Erica's Fashion Rules for Summer Church Attendance
1) Shirt must meet skirt. I understand the creeping up of the shirt in the back when you are sitting, but please plan ahead accordingly by not wearing a thong that creeps above the level of the skirt.
2) No junky flip flops with stains that show the places where your feet have made permanent marks. It's hard to draw the line sometimes between a sandal and a really nice flip flop but foot stains and ripped foam are key elements that get the everyone in trouble for one person's crimes.
3) No white or light colored skirts without slips. Just because they sell it in a store without a built in lining doesn't mean we all need to see your panties or peachy keen butt cheeks through the skirt. It's called a slip. It was created for this very purpose! LET IT FULFILL THE MEASURE OF ITS CREATION! Do slips and your fellow church attendees a favor!
4) If your skirt is made in a clingy soft fabric- in a flowy design......once again- the SLIP. You will be getting a wedgie otherwise and I don't want to see your skirt bunched between the aforementioned peachy cheeks. Or see you grabbing your butt to pull and reposition every 2 minutes.
5) Shave your armpits. We are not European. This is all.
6) If your feet look like those of a person left in the desert for weeks and then gnawed on by coyotes....please wear closed toes shoes. No one wants to see cracked heels as wide as the grand canyon or nails half-ripped off. Also- every once in a while do everyone a favor and repaint your toenails.
7) Continuing with the foot theme. We all know not all feet are made the same. My toesies are not the same as even my sister's. But this should apply universally. Do NOT wear strappy sandals with the pinky toe coming up OVER the last strap while the rest fit under. If your pinky toe doesn't fit under the straps- the shoes don't fit you right and you MOVE ALONG. Do not under any circumstances buy the shoes and wear them.
8) Yes. You have to wear a bra to church. No arguing. No exceptions. It is the LAW. And no, your bikini top does NOT count.
Ok- that is all for now. Please feel free to add and amend and give to those who are ignorant and committing these crimes as we speak.
Today I had a bizarre experience. I went to Academy to get myself an additional pair of sneakers. I have been a "one nice pair of sneakers" girl most of my life. I have kept the old demolished pair for muddy activities and camping. But now.....entering upon my chosen field I need to get scrubs and more than one pair of sneakers.
I tried to hold out till after I graduated and I have had the same pair since I got back from my mission but they were getting too pathetic after so many years, so a few months ago I caved and got one new reasonably priced pair.
So now I've got the ICU job. I've got a few pairs of scrubs to start off with. I was ready to go and unleash my love of shoes with reckless abandon. I assumed that my passion would apply to all coverings for the foot. Au contraire said fate. Sneakers are not as cool as heels. Touche' fate. Touche'.
I was overwhelmed with my options. I couldn't decide. I thought I wanted blue ones. They didn't have blue ones in my chosen brand. I don't want ones with too much white to avoid stains. No luck. Almost every pair was mostly white. It was driving me crazy I tell you. Then I found a relatively cute pair that are mosty aqua and brown which will match my one pair of brown scrubs. One pair. This is against everything in my nature to buy sneakers to match one outfit. Anyways. It felt wrong despite how right it feels with heels. There was a pair with mostly brown and one with a little more white mesh and the brown. Same brand. They feel identical- its really a fashion choice. BUT the browner pair costs 55 dollars more. NOT EVEN KIDDING! I hate stupid sneakers. I ended up just leaving because I was frustrated.
It was just DUMB. Really expensive price differences for no discernable difference in the shoes. Ugly colors that don't match. Plus the fact that half the sneakers right now look like they're for the space program. I am just not into this purchase. I think I will wait til after I am off of school. It made me grumpy. I could have gotten a killer pair of boots for the same as one pair of shoes. And those sneakers are not giving me the same sense of hot and sexy shoe satisfaction that pretty much any other style of shoe would. Maybe because sneakers make my ridiculously small ankles look even stupider. Sneakers are not a good look for me unless the pants reach all the way to cover the top. Forget you sneakers. I am waiting until I find some that make me say "They will be mine, OH YES! They will be mine."
Hey Fwiends! It's a less-drug-induced thought from your good old pal Erica!
Today Erika P. and I went hat shopping to get ideas for a class she is taking later on and had tons o' fun! I heart hats. I would never ever wear them in daily life....or ever really....but DANG IT... you all KNOW I love costumes. And I will totally take any costume type opportunity to wear a crazy hat. They really seem to define characters so well. Take my Mrs. Peacock teardrop shaped 40's style number that I made myself. It rocked. I won the Clue costume contest and I give all the credit to the hat.
Today Erika P and I rocked Steinmart and Nordstrom Rack. Really the only stores we could think of with hats. So here are a few of my fave selections. I am putting ones of me as I have my own full permission to humiliate myself. I am putting my fave Erika P hat though at the end. Cause she looks so pretty she shouldn't mind.
Here is the many colored green slouchy hat. If I had bought a hat....this would be the one. You know I love green. And that it was slightly slouchy and many shades..... with a big flowah!! Hold me back!
Here is the Cruella De Ville hat. I was trying to look Ferocia Coutura obviously unsuccessfully. Yikes. Once again. How many times do I need to learn the lesson that sucking in the cheeks/= evil cheekbones. ARGH. Just looks like a I need a straw . Truly this hat needs a unspeakably fatal(black) outfit to bring it out. I wish I had thought of dressing up in a neutral palette for our trip instead of in the Erica-standard green+brown hoodie. 
I hearted this hat too. I was like totally channeling Gatsby characters in this hat. It almost gives me an angelic glow if you will. Like maybe the thoughts inside that head aren't pure e-vil fr-uits of the de-vil. Ting! That's me flicking my halo!
My latest fave quote:
"Anything in your wardrobe with stains that say 'I had a case of explosive diarrhea in this outfit' needs to be thrown out." Clinton Kelly
Who needs a Valentine?? Not I said the Super-Fly
Thursday, February 14, 2008 | Labels: Fashion, Fun Things I DidHappy Valentine's Bloggy!!!
Aww!! Stuffed Puppies hugging!!! Such was my valentines day!! Or as I like to call it "Cheap hallmark gift from your parents to pretend the occasion is not another reminder of their failure in raising you because somehow you cannot fulfill your purpose in life and just get married" Day. Wheeee!!!
The first part of the day stunk. I had a group presentation to do at school. Then after that was finally over I had to sit through this crazy rude woman's recruiting efforts for the UT southwestern medical center system. But we got free lunch.
Then I left school, finally a free woman. No major projects or tests for a few weeks. BLISS !! I thought just getting to sleep tonight would be my reward but I was mistaken.
Fate decided to bestow upon me a rare gift. A pair of shoes that were meant to be mine. Bloggy, do you remember me whining that I found my dream shoes back in December and when I went to buy them a few days later they were gone? I was devastated. I went back to Nordstrom rack like twice afterward that month looking for them. But to no avail. SO....today I decided to go to Nordstrom Rack to celebrate finishing all that stressful stuff instead of face planting onto my bed and losing consciousness like I might normally do. Plus my sneakers are worn down and 4 yrs old and pathetic so I was gonna see if they had any good discounts. And as I wander down the aisle looking for sneakers.....a light shone down from above and rested upon the bestest most erica-ey shoe mine eyes have ever beheld....other than my sexy red shoes which are slammin. It was my dream shoes......those minxes had come back to me!!! And it was the only pair once again. And in my size. AND 50% OFF!!!
Obviously I was being blessed for having survived all of the crap school is putting me through.
Ye shall only receive your shoes after the trial of your faith. Or the trial of your knowledge of Oncology, Chest Trauma, Biliary System, Hematologic Disorders, and Nursing Management of the Change Process. And the trial of your ability to survive without sleep.
Behold the glory........
