Inside the KS Acting Studio - Paypal Accepted

Welcome dear friends and sit yourself down in a nice comfy folding metal chair. Today is the first and only class in the course you recently signed up for through our studios ....."Pouting your way through film : a study of the acting style of Kristen Stewart

Normally, I'd say grab a drink and snack but in all reality- "not eating" is key and this won't take very long.

Throughout the early 2000's primarily the world began to see the styling of an acting genius named Kristen Stewart. From her uncredited role as "ring toss girl" in The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, to her roles in Catch That Kid, Zathura, or What Just Happened? she took Hollywood by storm with the subtlety and mystery in her acting. "Was she just acting?" some experts would question as they watched her films. Ohhhh was she.

As a privileged child with a screenwriter mother and a producer father you would think she had been exposed to training.

As these quotes demonstrate, she has put much of herself into her characters.

On the subject of working in smaller indie movies she had this thought "It's your movie and you can do anything you want, and nobody's going to have anything to say." Indeed, you do leave them speechless with your talent my dear.

"Acting is such a personal thing, which is weird because at the same time it's not." With this quote K shows how her acting both demonstrates that SHE is NOT the character but at the same time.....who IS the character?? Who IS anyone really. She then said "You should have the opportunity to be more than one person with different people - because you have that within you" Inner potential for multiple personalities......or for acting all the time with everyone- hard to tell which prospect I find more pleasant.

"I don't want to make movies for kids, and I don't want to make movies for adults either." The wise critic asks herself- are Kristen's movies really FOR anyone?

She has been pursued by paparazzi and asked many questions but in her view"Really, I'm incredibly disjointed and not candid. Just in general, my thoughts tend to come out in little spurts that don't necessarily connect." I just knew some of her lines were meant to be in a stream of consciousness.

And for those of you who thought the acting was joy enough.....she has plans to conquer the world with her writing. "I mean, I definitely will always do what I've been doing. I've also started taking a lot of pictures, and they help the writing. The pictures help the writing. I mean, I want to make books. I want to take pictures and then write all over the pictures. And then I don't have to say a complete story, because I have the picture, and I have just a word." Apparently these will be children's books or coffee table graffiti books? Maybe a new genre entirely.

Ahh the gems of knowledge we have learned from our esteemed K. Stewart. But you all came her not just to learn the theory but the practice of Kristen.

Let us begin.

1. Moisturize the lips. Carmex, vaseline, lip smackers...it matters not which one. But they need to be in pouting shape. No peelies or crackies!

2. Those pearly whites must be in evidence. I mean HUGE. If you cannot see the front teeth at all times, from any camera angle how will you emote??? No one wants to see tears or forehead crinkles....what the eye is drawn to in any emotional scene is the slight glare off the front teeth and how you use your lips to display them.

3. Now you must choose how to emphasize the lip/tooth connection. You may bite the lip at center to be coy or torn apart, bite to one side to show confusion or shyness. You may pull the full lower lip up to partially cover the teeth while mouth still slightly gapes open to annoyance.

4. If there is to be a kissing scene you shall lick your lips at the approach and then bite them. Even if this is an unwanted kiss, you will still show how pouty and inviting and moist your lips are.

5. These rules also apply to child actors. It is never too early to start the lip biting.

6. NEVER smile. You lose all credibility as an actor. No character in any movie is truly happy anyways. If you smile it looks like you're too connected to the part and not busy being half personal and half distant.

7. Having sloppy hair cut to fall over your eyes is essential. You can bite your lip all you want but if it is not followed by a toss of the locks, what have you really expressed?

8. Don't open you eyes too wide. Having a deadened stare or even better....a vacant one shows depth and history.

9. The tone of your voice should be deep and low. If the amount of emotion you need to display calls for loud shouting and or screaming which will fall into a womanly or girly tone....then only be as loud as you can in a low tone. No valley girl or breathless sighs. Of course if the director absolutely forces you to scream...say if you're having a bad dream that seems like an acid trip where your voice comes out of Nearly Headless Ed's head....then you can scream but you must follow it up with some manly grunts of reassurance that you're fine back in the low tones again. If a word is meant to be shouted, you can emote it in a lower tone successfully by repeating it many times over and over. Instead of NOOOOOO!!!! deeply intone No No No and shake your locks a few times for emphasis. Then say No No No again. More lock shaking. And repeat until someone says cut. The police have told me this is super effective and what most women do when they need to fight off attackers. A low no is the way to go. Catchy right?

10. I can't emphasize to you enough how tasty your lips are and how much you can't stop chewing on them.

I hope you have learned today class and opened your minds. Maybe you too can play Joan Jett or Bella Swan, or any one of various famous 13 yr old emo boys with the skills you have learned today. Your range is as unlimited as your talent.

Best Wishes.

The Staff of the KS Acting Studio

PS- Don't forget to take a poster of the star herself for inspiration.

My mother is Phoebe. Mystery Solved.

For anyone who knows my parents, you all are going to love this story, so prepare yourselves. 

Tonight I came home from church to see my parents sprawled on their respective couches watching a movie. I was on the phone in a totally engrossing conversation, but I did look over and think to myself "WHAT THE CRAP!!!!!!???? They are watching Old Yeller???!!!"

But then I moved along. About a half hour later my phone got disconnected(tragedy!!) and I head to kitchen to eat dinner. I sit down with my meatloaf to eat for a second before I head out and my mom asks 

Mom: " Do you want to watch Old Yeller with us- it's a really good movie!" 

Me: "Heck no. I'm heading to Porter's. And I don't feel like crying tonight."

Mom:" Have you ever seen it?"

Me: "Are you kidding?" .......crickets......" Mom- everyone gets to watch it a million times in elementary school. It's the first time you get to embarrass yourself by openly crying in front of classmates" 

Mom: "Why would you cry? It's not sad is it?"

Me(freaking out): " Are you KIDDING ME??? Have YOU seen Old Yeller??!!"

Mom: "No- it seems pretty cute so far except for all the animals getting rabies"

Me(looking at her in disbelief......then looking at my dad): "This is your fault. I want no part of this. Also- this is an episode of Friends. Goodbye"

Time passes. I go to Porter's. And we re-enter our scene........

Me: " So.......how was it? Do you blame dad?"

Dad:" I didn't remember anything about the movie but that it had a yellow dog. I was as shocked as she was."

Mom: " I've been crying. "

Me: " Yeah- I knew that plot would blindside you with all your comments about how it seemed like all the cute animals kept getting rabies. SHOCKER! Also- Dad- I personally do not believe any human can have ever seen this movie and forget that the dog dies. Not only dies- is killed by it's owners. SERIOUSLY!!! I still blame you"

Mom:" It's OK- the Parent Trap is on now. I think the girls are really gonna get the parents back together."

Me(crying on the inside): " You are seriously kidding me now."

Mom:" No- look there's sparks at that little show they're putting on."

Me: " Mom- Walt Disney apparently made these movies at just your speed. You are seriously the master of the obvious tonight. "

Mom: "You are just getting all of your mean out on me."

Me: "No- you just managed to forget the plots of movies every human breathing on the planet has already seen and can see coming in the first 10 minutes of the movie. "

Mom: " I just think I was childhood movie deprived or something." 

Me: "Mom when we went to Disneyland when I was five you told me you and Aunt Les(her twin) despised Haley Mills for stealing your chance to be Disney's golden movie children because she wasn't a legit twin. You SAW this movie. If not as a child, I watched it like 50 times too."

Mom: " Nope. I think I saw the sequel though."

Me:" The one in the 80's where Haley Mills is the mom? Yeah- I think THAT'S  how you already guessed the plot of the parent trap. " 

Dad(crying in laughter)

Mom: " I'm just gonna watch now meanies."

Me" OK."

An hour or two later............

Mom: "Oooh I love Pollyanna so far. I can't imagine why this isn't more popular."

Me: " This is another one you don't even remember renting for me I take it? "

Mom: " No. There's no way you saw all these Disney movies and I didn't. If I missed them I am sure it was because I was cooking or doing laundry or cleaning up after you all" 

Me: "I'm sure the fact that you pay no attention and talk all the time when we rent movies had nothing to do with it. It's all slave labor all the time here. " 

Mom(gestures in my direction jen's fave gesture)

Me: "Whatever. Watch your wholesome Haley Mills movie. But don't blame me if there's no kleenex in the house tomorrow. "

Mom: " Oh no!! Is this one sad too?"

Me: " You've watched like 3 movies so far in the marathon and you haven't gotten the fact that all Disney live actions from this period have a "twist" at the end???!!! I cannot help you woman" 

 So I thought I would share my revelation with you all. My mother is apparently Phoebe. This explains alot. ALOT.

Life Lessons from Hitchcocktober

After unexpectedly getting off work earlier than anticipated yesterday, I went to see Dial M for Murder- one of the few Hitchcock movies I haven't seen. Yay! It was cheesier and more hysterical than I ever anticipated. And the thrilling movie had many lessons to teach me. As a young person there is much I apparently never knew about life and I will share it with the rest of you.

1) If you have a Lover, you should keep only the most dirty letter around and call it "the letter" cause if you only saved one of many, as a guy, your lover will know which one it is when you say " You know... THE Letter".  

2) The face you make when accused of a murder out of nowhere - also the same face you make when you think you smell pancakes. Nostrils flared, mouth open, occasional sniffing. It's not nearly as shocking as I had previously thought. Apparently it's pretty mouth-watering to be accused of murder. 

3) It is apparently perfectly acceptable to be excited about your tramp girlfriend accused of murder having a complete mental breakdown in the future. And I quote " You're going to have the most fantastic breakdown!" Said with all the glee of a kid about to get a new bike at Christmas while hugging her to comfort her. Well....as long as I have something to look forward to I guess I CAN go through the death penalty trial with my chin up. Thanks honey!

4) Writing in all CAPS makes any handwriting totally unintelligible. Seriously. It's like your note fell from an alien planet. Who could have written this?? We'll never know- it was written in caps. Might be Bobo the Elephant with a pen in her trunk....might be a first grader....or even the Unibomber. It will forever remain a mystery ...alas.

5) Police stealing of evidence is totally cool as long as you can use it in a dramatic way to catch a crook. The fact that you had to run errands around town with the evidence for hours if not days to figure out what you had stolen and what to do with it is irrelevant. You're a cop. Feel free to try stuff out.

6) UK courts have a totally awesome idea. Place kinderfoto backgrounds behind the witness box so that when a person is filmed for a trial they have an attractive faux finish behind them instead of the boring courtroom. 

7) They totally have hot rollers at the prison. And they will keep the clothes you got booked in nice and cute and clean for you in case you have an impromptu visit home. A girl can't go home from prison looking less than swell.

8) I am glad they don't have "radio programs" anymore or all you married girls might be stuck at home. How can a woman want to go out and see friends on a Saturday night? Are you being ridiculous? Men may go out all night, but women should stay in. It's the law. That's like asking to go out to the market without stockings on. Preposterous! Your hubbie says just listen to your radio program or do some mending. That's entertaining enough for the females. 

9) It is extremely difficult if not impossible to use your Visa to hire a hitman. The lesson- take out ordinary sums all the time from the ATM and save them. Then gamble alot to throw people off the trail if you do get seen with money and in a year you might have enough in small bills to hire your killer. Wait. That doesn't make sense. I thought you lost money gambling weekly. That lesson makes no sense at ALL. I protest Hitchcock. I don't think you can hoard money AND have a gambling habit. Maybe I just don't know how to do it right. 

10) Really attractive, really rich women still scrape the bottom of the barrel with men. Is there hope for anyone? Only if you're OK with cheaters who are amused by your mental breakdown. Sad......tear.

11) Sleeping alone in a twin bed is no reason not to wear a hot negligee, tousle your curls and wear red lipstick to bed. You're dressing for you, not some man. 

Ok- off to curl my hair and darn socks. That's how us wealthy girl stay wealthy. 

My Hero

Friends I have two mental images for you.

1) A superhero with a monocle.

2) A lady love who navigates by sonar and makes dolphin noises to locate her man as he rescues her.

These are the elements that we included in our conversation tonight as we watched the original Bruceman. I mean Beetlejuiceman, I mean Batman.

I wonder if the reason Lois Lane could never tell Clark was Superman was because she was too proud to wear the Vicki Vale half-face covering glasses. Astigmatism and vanity has kept many a man's identity secret.

I heart the wilfull suspension of disbelief.

The Disturbing Possibilities......

I finally finished the book that had been creeping me out. For anyone who is interested it was called The Historian and is about a girl researching the real history of Dracula and her family's past. It is not what I would call an easy read- when they say she is a historian we are talking medieval source docs and stuff and hours spent slaving over archives in musty libraries. This is no action packed Underworld type book. At most points at least.

So anyways, I finished it. I learned all kinds of information which I am not sure if it is all true(the research- not the are vampires real part) as some was obviously embellished for the story's sake, but the author really is a historian so.... my point is I'm not scared of vampires. I'm scared more of the other creepy stuff taking place in the book. For instance:

1) People getting drowsy while studying in their carrel in an almost empty library and waking to find that someone has been watching them and left them a present.

2) People finding out when you research subjects that are taboo to them (ie- what if the library had hackers who could see when you looked up research on ....carrots... and the wrath of the National carrot council came down upon you at your home one day). This most likely is reality. I wouldn't doubt that the NSA or CIA keeps track of what books get checked out or tracks IP addresses to see what websites get looked at. It's just creepy if it got into the hands of people who work for foreign governments or other special interest groups. In the book, it was Dracula psychically knowing you researched him. YIKES!!

3) The scary Eastern European countries in the 70's. You weren't really allowed to go there. And if you got in you ran ALOT of risk of not coming back due to being accused of spying etc. This would also still apply today to any number of countries.

In most of my favorite scary movies and books the key element of the plot is the disturbing possibility that parts of the story COULD be real. AHHHH!!! This is why I am a lover of the psychological thriller and not gore.

Here are some of my favorite movies:

1. Vertigo- Holy Crap- what an amazing movie and concept. If you didn't already know I worshipped Alfred Hitchcock here is your notice. Rear Window is also sheer genius, but I like the way Vertigo messes with your mind even more and makes the supernatural believable.

2. The Others- I like the use of Catholic Ritual which is creepy in and of itself, the children's allergy to light, the locking and shutting of doors, and how the fog almost becomes a character. I can't even tell you how much the pictures scare me. Why? Because they do exist in reality.

3. Dead Again- this is a classic for me. Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson are amazing. The first movie that introduced me to the concept of a movie with disturbing elements of truth mixed with more improbable stuff. Would I accept past lives on their own as a possibility? No. But can I dismiss having dreams that seem too real with info that you aren't sure how you know....uhhh....not completely. Awesome! Although the end is gory and cheesy. I love the buildup.

I know there are more but my brain is still focusing on the injustice that I cannot immediately visit Istanbul and Romania and Bulgaria and France to see the main sites in The Historian. ARG! I need to travel hard core.

Peeping through my fingers doesn't work so well for reading

Ever been so creeped out that you needed to be with another alive and friendly human being in order to read a book or watch a scary movie? It's a necessity sometimes.

Back in college I was in a late night showing of "What Lies Beneath", maybe it wouldn't be super creepy by daylight, but our filmstrip got messed up after like 5 minutes of movie. Just where it got a little creepy. Then an hour later they restarted the movie and we didn't get out til like 2 am. I am telling you......driving through a completely empty small town in the middle of a weeknight after a creepy movie......my roommate and I were so glad we had each other. We screamed out loud multiple times. So embarrassing, but alone- I can't even imagine how awful.

When I watched "The Grudge" my friend Rindi and I had to take breathing breaks because the movie was so intense. I also lost some skin on my leg to her nails. I think we needed an actual male presence to handle that one. It would have been much better. She is also the person who let out a blood-curdling scream in The Village before anything happened that made everyone in the theater start laughing at her. She also bruised my thighs with the nails (that time I had jeans on).

I bring this up because I have a most-likely very lame show DVR'd. I have had it there for like 2 months now. My sister and I are determined to watch it together for moral support. I think it is too lame for my dad though. There is always the fear though- what if it's not lame but really scary!?!?! My sister and I are about as effective at relieving each others fear as Shaggy and Scooby.

And the most pathetic of all is the need for moral support while reading a book. Unfortunately I usually don't realize I am thoroughly freaked out until it is like 2 am and I am alone in the dark house listening to the AC and some mysterious rustling outside my window just as the AC turns off. Then I sit in bed sure that there is a mass murderer peeping at me. And my heart races and it takes me an hour to go to bed. ARG!

This happened last night. Reading about an undead librarian chasing young academic researchers through the library stacks and stalking them all over Europe apparently seemed more of a reality at 2 am last night. Now I feel stupid. But I will most likely get freaked again tonight. I may have to just stay up suuuuper late and finish the book so that there is closure and I know good triumphs etc. I have a bad feeling that may not be in the cards though. YIKES!

The Uber-Talented Robert Downey Jr.

RDJ is a very gifted actor. I NEVER would have pictured him doing a superhero movie, but I saw Ironman today and I have to say. Holy Schnikies! He is good at being a superhero too. IS there any role the man cannot play convicingly? Ridiculous. Whether it's serious acting for the sake of the craft like Chaplin or cheesy fluff like Soapdish and Only You he is just so .......good. He seriously must have gone through the talent line in heaven like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

That is all.

A New Financial Scheme

So here is a random thought I had tonight whilst watching Our Mutual Friend(an old BBC miniseries). Why on EARTH don't I make people pay me for information??? This is an industry I totally need to get into.

Me telling people crap=big bucks. How can this be a bad idea? I have sooo much information on my hands that could be put to good use paying off student loans and my credit card. Look at this dude. He is an actor named David Bradley. He is Filch in the Harry Potter movies and he was also in the BBC version of Vanity Fair(sooooo good). He inevitable gets paid off for giving info to investigators or blackmailers in every movie he is in.

He just looks like you need to pay him 20 bucks to go away and take his smell with him.......if not 100 bucks for info and then to go away with his bad self.

Is it my creepy factor? Do I not look like I have the kind of seedy info that people need to pay me for? On TV, PI's constantly pay people for dishing info. I really want to get in on that action.

Maybe I need to move to a city that has docks. Dallas has a shocking lack of waterfront sleaze property where info is bought and sold. Maybe working downtown on Harry Hines when I start at Children's will help me to enter the "lucrative info" industry. That is about the seediest location I can go.

I think I need to into a higher class level of info sales if you get my drift. For my own safety as well as I don't want to have to cultivate a smell. I see all kinds of suburban stuff and I've kept my mouth shut up till now. I think Plano and Frisco have no idea the resource I could be if I was paid well. Cha-ching! You have no idea the kind of drama I see at the Coit and 190 Walmart after 12 on a Saturday night... when the truly evil pick up food for Sunday potlucks. And you can find out about who I've seen there for only $20 (per person, some restrictions apply, 20 for 1st minute, and 48.95 for each addtl. minute).

Who danced with who at the dance you didn't go to? ( oh yes...I know..... and I also know YOU were not there ...and by YOU I mean .....everyone I know pretty much).

Who sat by who the Sunday you were out of town?( Yes, you could ask someone else, but ask yourself....who pays more attention this stuff ME or someone else??? I rest my case)

I foresee grand sums of money coming my way, Gold Doubloons, Kohl's Cards, Sweet Sweet Cash.

Erica's Sweet Info Hook-up is now Open for Bid'ness. And no I don't take credit cards.

Ahhh Masterpiece Theatah.....repeats...or are they??

So this was the famous Edward Ferrars I melted over last week. So hot in tonight's show. He's like an 1800's Jim Halpert. Those evil people at PBS made dating profiles of each Austen Hero on the pbs.org site. That's a little too 12 year old girl for me, but it provided this pic for your viewing pleasure.

So anyways. Um HUGE NEWS!! A new version of A Room with a View Next Week!!!! HOLY SCHNIKIES!!! How did I not know about this???!!! One of my favorite....everything's of all time is being remade and I didn't know? I might have missed it!!! I am sooo all over that. I am also totally in the mood to watch the old version. ARGG!!!! It can never be as good as Merchant Ivory made it. I'm just saying.

So back to the original thought process. Although I appreciate them making it all Jane Austen for the past two months on PBS, I still like the other Sense and Sensibility better. The Emmas are debatable. Each has merits. Mansfield Park movies have all sucked in general. Persuasion.....eh. The new Northanger Abbey(and only one) is pretty darn cute. But my point is ..umm....thanks but why?

Do movies really need to be remade every few years for a new audience? I would tend to say ...NO(heck to the no for the less righteous readers). I am not a fan in general of remakes. Little Women......it had been a LOOONG time. I can see trying to get a new non black and white film watching audience. Pride and Prejudice, now that's a whole other story.....see the production pissed me off by starting with the theme of not " this movie needs a remake" but "We need to remake classic brit films with Keira Knightley because they will make money". True story. It made me sick when I heard it years ago in pre-production. The end product ...is actually not that bad. I LOVE Jena Malone as Lydia. But I had serious hesitations. Who in their right mind thinks the A&E miniseries is not the be-all end-all of Pride and Prejudice? It fulfills my every Jane Austen need. Who thinks watching a repressed Colin Firth is irrelevant to today's watchers? Not anyone I know!! The sheer gall to watch P&P and think to yourself the only thing this is missing is Keira Knightley! FREAKS!! It is not missing anything but your brain power and any sense of culture, fine film, or literature. Moving on from the rage.......

Honestly my greatest fear is that they will start trying to remake my favorite classic films and it just shouldn't be done. Here is a little list of what will cause me to fall over and die of horror if they try to remake:

Gone with the Wind

My Fair Lady

The Thin Man

Casablanca

All the Doris Day/ Rock Hudsons (although they tried with Renee Zellweger and failed miserably- jerks haha)

The Sound of Music/ Mary Poppins (I forsee this happening.....with Disney greed behind it)

The Princess Bride/Goonies ( movies of sheer genius I know)

Life is Beautiful(I want the original in italian only- if they try to make a truly english version.....GRRR)

Grease(this is just a plea not to do that to us- ug)

Wow.....I am a regular AFI of quality film here. Majorly serious subject matter. Ha. Maybe I should add in Adventures in Babysitting and Clue. Anyways. Can you imagine if we live to see the day they feel the need to remake ET or Titanic? If they start remaking Schindler's List I might as well just sign out of the human race.

Ok. This was a bizarre post. But hopefully you could follow along.

From the Sickbed

Ok peeps. This will probably be disjointed and badly typed. Why? I am sick and on the good kind of drugs. Oh yeah.

For anyone who wants gruesome details ask me later and I'll tell you. It all involves me and my infection prone throat. And probably the lack of sleep in my previous bloggy.

So ......soft food is pretty darn boring. Soup gets old fast. After having been sick like 3 times in the past 2 months I am also already over popsicles. I am not over smoothies however, YUM!

I have once again exhausted all the resources of my DVR. Holy crud? How can it be that I am sick yet again AND have already blogged on this grievance in the past AND the writers are not striking anymore and I am still TV SHOW LESS!!!!!! This is a crime. All I have to say is bless you Richardson Public Library and bless me too for always checking out far more DVDs and books than I can read or watch in a week. Except a week like this. Although what I will actually remember from Monday and Tuesday ......and maybe this afternoon is questionable.

I have to give props to PBS who has not let me down in the search for new shows. The only things I have to watch right now are new episodes of Signing Time (yay for more annoying signs that I can barely do and will likely forget!!) and the new Andrew Davies version of Sense and Sensibility from Masterpiece Theater. Bless them. And bless their Edward Ferrars who is babe-liscious. I mean come on.....Emma Thompson's version is like perfection...and the other characters pale in comparison to all of Emma's cast. But this Edward can boot out Hugh Grant for the role any day in my book. Heck......I'd go so far as to say that the new Edward Ferrars could come and visit me right now and brighten up a sick girl's day. But he'd have to be blindfolded so he couldn't see me in my sickie-ness. But oooooooooooie!! He is one fine hunk of british male. I highly esteem him.

Another note from the sickbed. I love cell phones. My sister doesn't right now because I keep calling her from my bedroom, but it's much better than having to shout. I'm all

Erica: What up homez?
Kris: What do you want now?
Erica: Isn't this cool that I can call you on the phone?
Kris: No, stop calling me. What do you want?
Erica: Just to ask if you can go get mom.
Kris: Wasn't I just in your room?
Erica; Yeah but I forgot and I don't want to listen to her phone ring for 30 minutes till she finds it so can you just go get her?
Kris: Don't call me again.

Thus we see why I want to be a nurse and ......she doesn't.

Now I am able to get up and go seek mom myself though so the phone stage is technically over. Fun while it lasted though. I am totally calling her all the time now when she is next door. Just for giggles.

OK- Now it's wayyy late and I am ready to sleep for a million more hours. Nighty night bloggy!

The Subtitle Controversy

Ok- here's a spicy/not angry topic.

Subtitles or Voice Overs(dubbing)? I can sense your hearts beating faster and your mouths watering.

First let me state my position in the debate: Pro Subtitles(even before I actually knew any other language than English). I heart subtitles and movies that have them . I have yet to watch a movie where within five minutes I didn't even realize they were there anymore. And I generally come out of the movie knowing a few new words in a foreign language. The whole magic of Life is Beautiful as far as I'm concerned is LOST when you don't hear the musicality of Roberto Begnini saying "Buon giorno principessa!!" It breaks my heart to think that there are people in the world who love that movie with English dubbing and don't know that they are missing with the Italian. Ché tragedia! I honestly wonder if the people that say they hate them have never given the subtitles a few minutes to disappear or if they copped out early. It does take a few minutes. Just wondering.

Or I've heard people argue that subtitles require reading and thinking and a movie shouldn't be about anything but relaxation and escape. Just as an FYI like 99.99% of the movies with subtitles in English are "thinker" types of movies anyways. They aren't renew and relax experiences no matter what language they are in. Death, destruction, oppression, heartbreak, corruption. This is the key subject matter of foreign films. Reading at the same time is not what makes your brain hurt after watching these movies.

Even when we're not talking actual foreign films, subtitles are still a vital part of my life. As the owner of a mother that has bad(inattentive I think) hearing, subtitles allow her to watch previously inaccessible movies. It is a devastating fact of life that the woman does NOT speak Pirate or any form of British or foreign accent. Not one bit. And so our worlds were changed by me realizing that we could turn on the subtitles and now suddenly she understands the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Now we can watch movies as a family without her saying WHAT DID HE SAY??(Arg) WHAT'S HAPPENING??(They're gonna chase the other pirates) literally every two seconds. I wish she could have her own little subtitles screen at the movie theater. Alas the genius realization I had to turn on the English subtitles does not solve everything. She is still banned from watching mysteries with us. Her lack of attention is not completely fixed by subtitles and she'll still ask WHY?(we don't know yet) WHO'S THAT?(we don't know yet) IS THAT THE BAD GUY(we don't know yet) IS SOMEONE GOING TO DIE? (WOMAN FOR THE LAST TIME - LET THE MYSTERY UNFOLD!!!) But I digress.

My point is I love subtitles and I hate seeing people speak and hearing English come out of their mouths at a different rate of speed. ICK. Unless it's a movie about ninjas or kung fu. Obviously.

So that's my point. Feel free to express your points of view in this hot debate. It's an issue that divides families and tears apart friendships. So let's start the rumble! Wheeeee... carnage!!!