No Offense

Sunday, March 16, 2008 |

I really don't intend every blog to be whiny or angry, but holy smack-I am on fire today!! I promise more nice/funny blogs later.

Why is it that people think that they can say whatever insult they want if they say "No Offense" beforehand. Like those two words can cancel out their own culpability for people's angry and offended reaction?

That is the HEIGHT of passive aggression which everybody knows I luv. LUV. And the best part is when someone says that little catchphrase, you immediately get a clue into their psyche. They are emotionally present enough to realize they are about to commit a terrible social faux-pas. But...being the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD.....the comment needs to be said or the world will miss a brilliant piece of wisdom that could be life-altering in it's magnitude. SO they add the standard "No offense" to the beginning of their comment to use the special magic of those words to take all the sting out of being told you are ugly, stupid, untalented, or just plain wrong.

Then they get suprised when you are immune to the peace-keeping mojo and are all......OH MY Goodness!! If you are offended that's your problem cause I told you not to be so it's not my fault!!

To use my favorite analogy- which some of the suspected readers of my blog will have heard many times before- If you know 2+2 = 4 and you add 2 and 2 together you can't say:
A) OH my goodness !! It's 4!!! I never expected that!!!
B) I really hoped they would equal's not like I WANTED 4. I mean I know I added 2 and 2......
C) I never really thought about what adding 2 and 2 meant in the long term....I mean what IS addition anyways?

Actually now that I think about it it's not really passive aggression. In the world of words... passive aggressives are the slow poisoners. The daily arsenic in the coffee.

This phenomenon is more like......a sniper with parkinson's. The bullet misses it's mark slightly, the victim is still alive and po'd and the sniper got caught with a gun in their hands.

Ok I am stopping now. GRRRrrrrrr. Cougar claws retracting.


Alison said...

Well, I AM the most important person in the world no matter where I go. So . . . I can use "no offense" at my discretion, right? How wonderful for only me! ;)

Erica said... offense Alison.....but NO!

Alison said...