Self-Righteous Judgers and the Women who Don't Love Them

Sunday, February 10, 2008 |

That's sort of a cross between an Oprah and a Jerry Springer show title I think.

Why must people take the time to tell you that you are wrong to be mad? Or annoyed? Do they not realize that this is a kamikaze mission or do they really think their cause is so worthy that it's worth the atomic reaction?

I was legitimately annoyed (it's blown over now though) with a person last week-over something that was said to me in public that was just heinously rude. And the person decided to be a pain in public on purpose to manipulate me and it just backfired because they looked stupid and were in the wrong. I was annoyed for a while but it's no earth shaking thing. We are buddies again. So who cares- right?

Au contraire.

I happened to see another friend(recent acquaintance really) on Friday and apparently he heard what had happened. SO- he asks me "Are you really angry with him over what happened?" And I say....." uh.......NO....I've known this guy for years and I'm not mad anymore......but I think I'll be mean and make him suffer for a while...hahahaaaa....but he knows what he did wasn't cool and why I got angry......but did see that I hugged him when I came in right? It's OK now."

So totally uninvolved friend says "You really need to not harbor resentments and anger. It ruins your life. I can't believe you can't just get over this." And then gives me an AWFUL dirty look. Then he goes off on some thing about how sad it is that I am ruining the best years of my life with anger.

So I look at him like "Are you insane?" I actually looked over my shoulder to see if he was talking to someone else who was punching walls or something.

What on earth?? I was angry in the totally not permanent "mom ate my leftovers" kind of way......and not even really that anymore...time had already passed and I was basically over it........ and I get called to repentance by a recent acquaintance???

So now I'm totally not angry at the original person, but I am genuinely annoyed by the new friend with apparent judgemental diarrhea of the mouth.

Is there anything more annoying than someone who overreacts to your mild emotions and paints them as like.....fuschia and electric blue when in reality the emotion is like pale peach or butter yellow?

You have to have been there at some point ..a minor disaster ensues and some wierdo yells to you -OH MY GOODNESS CALM DOWN!!!!! And you're standing there like a pothead going "Huh??...dude.....maybe you need some of this "

Or at an activity where you get hurt and you are continuing to play- totally fine......but some person on the court walks up to you and is all "You know that was an accident.....there's no need to be angry" What?? Did I do anything other than say I'm OK and keep playing?

I think some people really get off on calling others to repentance or being the peacemaker where there is no war.

Maybe I should have just have blogged about meeting more special people. The ones who love to try to make you out to be more special than they are in order to feel better. Except their perception is WACK and thus they reveal their specialness.

Ok- peace out. I got studying to not do.

Disclaimer - This blog in no way implies that my friends who actually know me and tell me to get over something are wrong. They usually are all too right.


Alison said...

Amen and amen. I think sometimes I come across a little stronger than I feel when talking about certain things, but now I'm think that sometimes (sometimes is the key word here) it may just be people overreacting to my reaction.

I agree that people that feel the need to "correct" my feelings have extremely poor boundaries. And I HATE THEM ALL!!! ;)

What I really dislike about these individuals is that they actually make me feel bad about myself and paranoid for a while. Then I realize that I'm not necessarily being irrational, it's someone else this time.

Sigh. The trappings of having an opinionated point of view. :)

<-<--esoder<---<----<----- said...

Fresh ground pepper?

Molly said...

The sad truth is that opinions are like turds - everyone has some, and oftentimes, they stop up the flow of regular reason.

I hope you liked that simile.