Prepare yourselves for some horrific metrosexual(to be kind) shots of the man I can't stand the most on TV right now. Mr Slade Smiley. There are so many reasons I can't stand him. For most of them you can just go to his Myspace and find out for yourself. The man is a former mountain biker/model. And if you look for former pics some are pretty obviously.........lets just say porn-tastic. ICK! Now he is a real estate mogul. Of course. Who wants to say they got their money from chesty shots for Men's Fitness and other less reputable mags. So anyways. The story of this travesty of TV is that he and his fiancee Jo were on Real Housewives and then broke up. Of course they can't let go of their 15 minutes of fame and Jo suddenly comes out of nowhere now as a talented singer(not a title expert/stay at home trophy). Apparently she had us all fooled by seeming like your average self-obsessed LA type plasti-girl. She is a plasti-girl with a voice dang it!!!!

Now we get the privilege of watching Jo do a dating show where(TWIST) all the men live with her ex Slade!!! DRAMA!!! GASP!!!

Who cares. Not me. But I got stuck watching since my sis has home for the day sick and of course you can't turn away from a train wreck. Or a She-man in a paisley scarf as the case may be. Exhibit A: The scarf.

Seriously. The man wore a black short sleeved tee and a woman's paisley scarf. The humanity. And he is seriously trying to confront this guy in this scene for making chocolate chip cookies in the shape of a woman with big boobs(supposed to be Jo) . Seriously. He could see nothing funny about it and wanted the guy kicked out of the house for being disrespectful. It's totally immature but seriously. If you ask a group of bored men to make cookies....what shape are you expecting them to all come out as??? It was totally ridiculous!!!! Slade is totally a wet blanket personality. Which leads us to Exhibit B....the water feature

Here are some of Jo's dates at the water feature. Don't you dare call it a pond. It is a water feature. No one is meant to get wet in it or disturb it in any way. In one episode Slade went crazy because the men played a game of making people look for coins they dropped on top of the rocks at the bottom of the pond...I mean water feature. And he was all......this is NOT a POND!!! It's a water feature!!!! Duh!!! Of course. I forgot all about the copy of the Gay man's guide to aquatic landscaping that arrived in the mail today along with the Men's Fitness. It IS a water feature.

Exhibit C- the v-neck shirt. That looks like a woman' fit shirt in boy colors. And he appears to shave his legs.
Exhibit D- any date with Adrienne Curry should tell you the quality of man he is. UG. And somebody cut or restyle those man-bangs before I have to shave his head myself.

Exhibit E- yet another freaking scarf. WHY??!!!!!! And now he appears to be a 14 yr old girl with ponytail holders on his wrist. They are an essential accessory. As a woman I understand the need to put your hair in a pony at any time.

Exhibit F- I don't even need to say anything. The sweater hat speaks for itself. The twist slightly to the side shows just how cool Slade is. In case you didn't get it by his wicked cool water feature, the scarves, the bangs or the ponytail holders.

And thus you have it. Why I can't stand Slade. Other than the sick and twisted psyche that is totally down with reality TV to promote the girl who is supposedly your ex dating other people with you as a part of the screening process. Not stomach wrenchingly wrong at all.

And if you look at his myspace....did they really break up?? Who promotes their ex's crap songs like that?? And if they really are broken up...who exploits their ex's possible 15 minutes of fame like that? It's just sad either way. Breaking up means MOVING ON.



Got Bombshell? said...

I have never seen the show, but this post made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that he is grody.
Those scarves are ridiculous. You told me, but I had to see it for myself. Yikes! What a woman. And not in a good way.