The Tale of the Desperate Encounter of E-Shizzle, TinyK, Peanut and Pooh

Submitted for your reading pleasure......

The Tale of the Desperate Encounter of E-Shizzle, TinyK, Peanut and Pooh

On the blessed occasion of the one score and a half plus one Birthday of E-Shizzle, She and TinyK headed off to Hurricane Holla...I mean Harbor for a day of fun in the sun.

E-Shizzle was garbed in her new black bathing suit with little ruffles around the bosoms. And an extra panel sewn in for the small children in the viewing public. She was also wearing a pair of men's board shorts for her own comfort and security. As her fat was not yet tan or toned it needed to be covered.

TinyK was her usual cute and skinny self in her cute suit. And expensive but useless sunscreen. But I digress.

Both lovely ladies made it to the park and had the most charming time riding the rides and burning the @#$ out of their feet. Nachos, Chicken strips, Strawberry Daquiris. Oh my!

And Oh! the people watching. They were having a great time. Since the criminals who manage the park made certain rides open late, the girls were happy when one of their faves was finally open for business. The girls ran, and ran, and walked fast, and ...gasp.....trudged, then dragged up the stairs to the ride. As they almost made it to the top they heard a voice behind them.

"Do you ladies know if this ride is scary?"

E-Shizzle and TinyK looked at each other. Uh. what?

E-Shizzle answered "It's not as bad as Geronimo. There's an 8yr old in front of us riding it. I think you'll be fine"

A fine young black man approached her. "My name's Peanut and this is my man Pooh. "

E-Shizzle and TinyK tried to contain their hysteria.

"Me and Pooh came up here and rented a hotel for a while and got passes to Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor to have fun going back and forth for a while. So where are you ladies from? Do you have plans tonight?"

Pooh looked on disinterestedly like he'd seen Peanut rejected many times before. Pooh also had some unfortunate man-grooming issues that should have been resolved before removing his shirt, so maybe he was just anticipating rejection for himself.

Tiny K answered and said "We're from Richardson and it's my sister's birthday so we have to go home early for a family dinner party", the lie pouring forth like water from a tube chute.

Peanut replied" Are you sure you can't come party with us at the hotel?"

E- Shizzle said "Sorry but no thanks."

Peanut then counter offered " It's your birthday. I promise I can make it special"

OH NO HE DI'ENT!!!

TinyK at this point says "How old are you guys? " hoping of course that she can tell them to try with girls their own age.

Peanut says " Well I'm thirty. How old are you two?"

FOILED AGAIN!! Tiny K says in a depressed little voice "I'm 26 and my sister is turning 31 today" to which Peanut replies " So we are just the right ages!!"

So TinyK pulls out the big guns and quickly says into the awkward silence(in a strangely loud voice)"I have a boyfriend."

E-Shizzle thinks to herself. Wow. That sounds believable.

Peanut says" Oh, well we should still party sometime. How can I get y'all's numbers?"

E-Shizzle and TinyK look at each other like how can this man be any more desperate? And yet Peanut wasn't bad looking. Sad.

TinyK says" Ummm we're all at Hurricane Harbor. It's not like anyone has a phone or a pen with them in their bathing suit. Sorry."

At this point even Pooh is getting annoyed. Pooh makes some "Oh well! and Darn maybe next time" type gestures and mutters and tries to shuffle off.

Peanut is not one to give up though. " Really? How am I gonna get your numbers? This is so annoying."

At this point E-Shizzle is totally enjoying keeping quiet and hearing what crap TinyK will say next.

"There's really no way you CAN get our numbers. OH WELL" Says TinyK in a very final way.

Peanut then awkwardly turns to face the oncoming ride. " So you're sure this ride isn't too scary?" Pooh snorts.

And E-Shizzle and Tiny K hope that by the time they reach the bottom of the slide they will once again be free to roam the park sans desperate Peanut and Pooh. But oh the story they will have to tell their friends.......

Little did Peanut know, but he did make E-Shizzle's birthday special.