Lack O' Sleep

So I have been away from my bloggy and my friends at a national student nursing conference at the Gaylord for the past 4 days. Basically this week, I studied my butt off, went to do my clinicals at the hospital, did my volunteer clinic hours, more hospital and then wednesday afternoon drove directly from Baylor Plano to the Gaylord where I was busy night and day until late this afternoon. Holy SMOKES!!! I am so tired. I had to take a little nap when I got home just to have the energy to do my laundry. Which of course I brought different outfits but only brought a black pair of shoes so I had to wear my black dress pants every day which I spilled food on day one AND day 2. ARG!!

So there were a ton of exhibitors and fellow students milling around and at one of the booths they were selling these memory study notebooks. They take info you need to know about body systems and certain diseases and make little drawings or mnemonics(ooooh...SAT vocab) to help you remember stuff for tests. A student from our school bought them and came to show me and I was like....AHHHH! (Disclaimer -This blog in no way is meant to mock those with a psychological disorder)

I turned to a page with a picture of a person with schizophrenia -a stick man crouched with his hands around his knees and like a few days worth of beard and crazy eyes. I was all- HAHA- I feel like that right now. My eyes are so red from sleep deprivation and I want to crawl into the fetal position.

Then I look at the dialogue puffy clouds around him. And it gets eerie.

Who am I - What am I doing here?? Check. I am confused.

Why won't you leave me alone? Everyone is out to get me. Check.

What is going on? Huh? Double Check.

I don't care. Check.

You are stressing me out! I don't want to be around people anymore! Check.

YIKES!! Lack of sleep is giving me some of the thought processes of schizophrenia....at least according to the memory book. In reality schizophrenia's way more severe than this and I have issues with the memory book, but anyways....sleep deprivation is WACK!! Hopefully I will sleep enough tonight to get myself back to my normal level of mental health by tomorrow.

It's scary to think of all of the stupid things I have done in my lifetime due to sleep deprivation induced moronic/impulsive decisions.

Most of the bad moments began with a trip to Walmart after midnight. I just shouldn't be allowed to get a cart after 12. If I would just walk in and get what I (or my friends) came for life would have many less scary memories.

Exercise your femininity...that's what every girl should know!!

Do you ever wonder to yourself why was I born a woman?

What magical things am I supposed to learn through all of the idiosyncracies of womanhood?

Is there some special knowledge or spiritual power, or personality trait that comes from being a girl?

How different must life experiences be if you are a man?

Some days being a woman feels less magical than others. More like a Curse...haha....I jest. But if you think about it......our minds work differently, our bodies are so different, the care and upkeep is totally different. As Sam has pointed out recently....we have a whole different perspective of dating due to our different role and we also seem to really unexplainably love shoes.

I wonder if it is just the differing hormones that make us love a really hot good quality pair of heels or boots. Maybe (as I've suspected MANY a time) men's eyes don't work so they can see what is truly beautiful in life...ie cute babies, heels, moi.

Then again if we take a leap back in history there was a time that men were the peacocks dressing up in all the heels and lace with makeup and corsets and the women were the arm candy. I don't like to dwell on that too much though. YUCK. I love historical drama but I can't stand the prissy wig wearing male of that particular period of time.

But regardless of how femme men may get in their dress throughout the ages there are certain lovely experiences that they just cannot have for themselves. As much as we may wish those experiences on them.

So my ladies......what gems do you have to share about the joys of femininity? Here are some of my hidden pleasures:

I like getting to hold babies. Women always get to steal each others' new babies to hold with that new baby smell. (for men's reference see : new car smell)

I like heels and boots and sandals with painted toesies.

I like the joy of having tanned shaven shapely legs in summer. Oh yeah.

I like having crazy makeup experiments where you make yourself over like a member of Heart or Cruella Deville or something.

I like knowing how to cook yummy things.

I like having good smelling clean hair. Men can't appreciate that unless they have had long hair. It's so nice to let your hair out of a ponytail at the end of a day and smell your yummy shampoo smell. MMmm.

I like not being a smelly boy in general.

I like being free to express my emotions to my girls. So liberating!

I like being unashamedly obsessed with cheesy british books and romantic movies!

I like that girls can love dancing without getting made fun of.

Now it's your turn mis amigas!!! Mis hermanitas!! What do you love ???

I can make you THIN!

Ok for those who hate dieting- this is NOT a diet post. Not a complaining about weight post. Just go with me here. This is interesting.

Basically I watched a new TLC show with my mom on sunday night by a guy who is teaching techniques to make people lose weight. One of his main points was to eat very slowly putting down your fork or spoon and savor each little bite of food. It's all about enjoying and tasting the food and giving it your attention because so many people inhale their food. The catchphrase is "eat consciously!"

Dude- I was just spending some bonding time with the mom, but seriously - the man had a point. I was taking the truth to be wayyyy hard. The diet guru had called me to repentance. Some days I eat in front of the TV and most of the time I could not consciously tell you when I even finished eating...all I know is I probably scarfed it down. And due to nursing school....the days I have to eat on campus I INHALE my food. Most days I have breakfast at 5:30 and lunch at 3pm. Not even kidding. I be a hungry girl by then. And my doctor has told me in the past that eating slowly will help out my ulcer-ey stomach. So I decided to try to eat as slow as molasses this week like he taught on the show for my poor tummy's sake. And not watch TV while I eat so that I actually pay attention to my food and the taste.

I do have to say - I am really enjoying tasting my food again. Food is amazing. YUM! So many subtle flavors! The grilled onion and mushroom fajita I had today was tres magnifique I must say. MMmm. Slowing down the meals and tasting food is a whole new world.

And then we get to the problem. TV. I am DYING I tell you. I mean eating is yummy when you actually taste your food and all, but watching TV while eating and finally seeing the shows I have DVR'd the night before is a highlight of my boring life. And it's how I justify watching TV. Now I got no alibi. If I don't watch TV while I eat....then I am killing actual real "getting stuff done" time when I watch TV. The HORROR!!!

I think the real issue is homework. If I had none then I would have guilt-free TV time. Ok partially guilt-free.

So anyways. Blah. In honor of Alison saying "here here" in a british accent all week....A pox on the fool who interferes with my entertainment.

Testing their Boundaries?

Do you ever wonder what is going through people's minds when they do things?

For instance, when someone who claims to be a mormon...with a large mormon crowd.... does something blatantly "against the rules".

I wish I could get back to non-judgemental "treat everyone like an investigator" land like when I was on my mission. I never batted an eyelash at people's pet sins that were out there and obvious. I was a total hippie peace lover.

Now I'm back in Erica-land and I'm all.....why the HECK would you come to hang with church people to act like this? I am fully aware many people are on their way back to activity and are rough around the edges. Investigators and new members are all working on stuff. To be honest we're all working on stuff and I know I have my uncharming moments.

My question is this...if someone decides to brag about really messed up aspects of their life or use bad language or actually do something messed up in front of members......would that be:

1) A cry for help

2) A really badly timed slip-up

3) Testing the waters to see if anyone else wants to join them on the dark side

4) Testing to see how far mom will let them go before she says STOP! like a little kid

Probably the answer to this question is to just let it go cause it doesn't matter in my life one bit. But then again.......in judging righteous judgement for myself.....should I be hanging out in the future with people who blatantly act in inappropriate ways or talk inappropriately? It's hard to know unless I figure out their motivation. All I know is I don't WANT to.....which makes me feel judgemental in a bad way if they are trying their best.

Here's a great idea...a public service announcement...anyone who is acting heinously in public who reads my blog- STOP IT!! Then we can just be friends with no worries. Yay! Glad we cleared that up!

Except I'm pretty sure it's none of you that are weirding me out right now. Darn!

Counting my leprechaun gold

So I just got a job for when I graduate this week. Finally an income!! No more student loans and credit cards! Bliss!

OK, technically I won't start my job until June 9th. And I probably won't get paid for a while after that, but I sure am excited already!

So once the big bucks are flowing in, I'll be able to pay off my credit cards in a few months and get an apartment again! YAY!!! And this time I think I want to live by myself....1st time ever to be roommate-less but I think I want my own place. I guess we'll see a while from now when I have to contemplate paying rent that's not split up at all.

So all of this is a while away and I have a million big things I need to be doing right now, but what have I been wasting my time doing? Looking at apartment searches online. I have to be honest- my original degree might be somewhat real estate related and I might ....LOVE...looking at floor plans. Seriously. I need to stop the madness and start my darn homework before it's due. (PS- Candice I love your complex's floor plans for some of the one bedrooms!)

It's sad. What else is distracting me from doing my homework right now? Trying to figure out if the little government incentive should be spent on a cruise in May after I graduate. Seriously- it seems like the government might have read my blog about a girl needing a vacation and decided to be my sugar daddy. Or pimp- technically Uncle Sam is giving me back my own money.

I love spending money I don't actually have yet. Wheeeee!

Pitter-Pat Pitter-Pat, It's a Rainy Day!

I LOVE Rainy Days!!!! OK, maybe not torrential downpours or monsoons, but even those are fun for a while to me. After having been in Argentina with 1 hour of sprinkles in a year and a half I was having dreams every night about thunderstorms and they were heavenly. Maybe only a person who lives in Tornado Alley most her life can miss house-shaking thunderstorms. I crave them sometimes. MMmmmmm.

Ok in honor of today's insane rain-fest AND me being home to enjoy it on Spring Break here is what I like about rainy days!!

1) I like the sound of rain beating on the roof
2) I like wearing a rain coat(incidentally I have also been looking for rainboots that rock for a while now and am as yet unsuccessful)
3) I like the dark shadowy-ness of the day even inside with the lights on.
4) I like eating homemade cookies like when you stay inside making cookies with your mom when you're little on rainy days
5) I like taking naps in the shadowy-ness with rain beating on the roof
6) I like watching rainy movies that are scary(Clue) or depressing(Sense and Sensibility) so that there is thunder in the movie and in my house and you aren't sure where it's coming from. Neato!
7) I like puddle stomping.
8) I like that every girl's hairdo is ruined so we're all on equal status looking like drowned rats.
9) I feel an irresistable urge to touch people's clothes that have raindrops on them that haven't soaked in yet...and I LIKE it.
10) I like that rain means everyone stays home together at night instead of going out separate places. We're gonna have scary movie night tonight and eat pancakes with fruit syrup YUM!!!!!

RAIN ROCKS HARD!!!!! But it could slow down a little so things don't flood. I'm just saying.

Quote-tastic

My latest fave quote:

"Anything in your wardrobe with stains that say 'I had a case of explosive diarrhea in this outfit' needs to be thrown out." Clinton Kelly