Inside the KS Acting Studio - Paypal Accepted

Welcome dear friends and sit yourself down in a nice comfy folding metal chair. Today is the first and only class in the course you recently signed up for through our studios ....."Pouting your way through film : a study of the acting style of Kristen Stewart

Normally, I'd say grab a drink and snack but in all reality- "not eating" is key and this won't take very long.

Throughout the early 2000's primarily the world began to see the styling of an acting genius named Kristen Stewart. From her uncredited role as "ring toss girl" in The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, to her roles in Catch That Kid, Zathura, or What Just Happened? she took Hollywood by storm with the subtlety and mystery in her acting. "Was she just acting?" some experts would question as they watched her films. Ohhhh was she.

As a privileged child with a screenwriter mother and a producer father you would think she had been exposed to training.

As these quotes demonstrate, she has put much of herself into her characters.

On the subject of working in smaller indie movies she had this thought "It's your movie and you can do anything you want, and nobody's going to have anything to say." Indeed, you do leave them speechless with your talent my dear.

"Acting is such a personal thing, which is weird because at the same time it's not." With this quote K shows how her acting both demonstrates that SHE is NOT the character but at the same time.....who IS the character?? Who IS anyone really. She then said "You should have the opportunity to be more than one person with different people - because you have that within you" Inner potential for multiple personalities......or for acting all the time with everyone- hard to tell which prospect I find more pleasant.

"I don't want to make movies for kids, and I don't want to make movies for adults either." The wise critic asks herself- are Kristen's movies really FOR anyone?

She has been pursued by paparazzi and asked many questions but in her view"Really, I'm incredibly disjointed and not candid. Just in general, my thoughts tend to come out in little spurts that don't necessarily connect." I just knew some of her lines were meant to be in a stream of consciousness.

And for those of you who thought the acting was joy enough.....she has plans to conquer the world with her writing. "I mean, I definitely will always do what I've been doing. I've also started taking a lot of pictures, and they help the writing. The pictures help the writing. I mean, I want to make books. I want to take pictures and then write all over the pictures. And then I don't have to say a complete story, because I have the picture, and I have just a word." Apparently these will be children's books or coffee table graffiti books? Maybe a new genre entirely.

Ahh the gems of knowledge we have learned from our esteemed K. Stewart. But you all came her not just to learn the theory but the practice of Kristen.

Let us begin.

1. Moisturize the lips. Carmex, vaseline, lip smackers...it matters not which one. But they need to be in pouting shape. No peelies or crackies!

2. Those pearly whites must be in evidence. I mean HUGE. If you cannot see the front teeth at all times, from any camera angle how will you emote??? No one wants to see tears or forehead crinkles....what the eye is drawn to in any emotional scene is the slight glare off the front teeth and how you use your lips to display them.

3. Now you must choose how to emphasize the lip/tooth connection. You may bite the lip at center to be coy or torn apart, bite to one side to show confusion or shyness. You may pull the full lower lip up to partially cover the teeth while mouth still slightly gapes open to annoyance.

4. If there is to be a kissing scene you shall lick your lips at the approach and then bite them. Even if this is an unwanted kiss, you will still show how pouty and inviting and moist your lips are.

5. These rules also apply to child actors. It is never too early to start the lip biting.

6. NEVER smile. You lose all credibility as an actor. No character in any movie is truly happy anyways. If you smile it looks like you're too connected to the part and not busy being half personal and half distant.

7. Having sloppy hair cut to fall over your eyes is essential. You can bite your lip all you want but if it is not followed by a toss of the locks, what have you really expressed?

8. Don't open you eyes too wide. Having a deadened stare or even better....a vacant one shows depth and history.

9. The tone of your voice should be deep and low. If the amount of emotion you need to display calls for loud shouting and or screaming which will fall into a womanly or girly tone....then only be as loud as you can in a low tone. No valley girl or breathless sighs. Of course if the director absolutely forces you to scream...say if you're having a bad dream that seems like an acid trip where your voice comes out of Nearly Headless Ed's head....then you can scream but you must follow it up with some manly grunts of reassurance that you're fine back in the low tones again. If a word is meant to be shouted, you can emote it in a lower tone successfully by repeating it many times over and over. Instead of NOOOOOO!!!! deeply intone No No No and shake your locks a few times for emphasis. Then say No No No again. More lock shaking. And repeat until someone says cut. The police have told me this is super effective and what most women do when they need to fight off attackers. A low no is the way to go. Catchy right?

10. I can't emphasize to you enough how tasty your lips are and how much you can't stop chewing on them.

I hope you have learned today class and opened your minds. Maybe you too can play Joan Jett or Bella Swan, or any one of various famous 13 yr old emo boys with the skills you have learned today. Your range is as unlimited as your talent.

Best Wishes.

The Staff of the KS Acting Studio

PS- Don't forget to take a poster of the star herself for inspiration.

PLAGIARIZERS BEWARE!!!

Ok- for reals. For MONTHS now I have had like 3 or 4 hits a day on my review of A Thousand Splendid Suns. I would have absolutely no problem with sharing my point of view and throwing my opinion out into the wide wide world of electronic data.....EXCEPT - out of three or four hits a day, maybe one search is the title of the book and the other three are "A Thousand Splendid Suns Book Report". CHEAP! People, I fully understand researching a topic and getting stuff to talk about for papers. I have spent more than my share of time in school, but seriously. I never googled the words "Book Report".

I seriously feel like looking up some universities and sending them my blog just to screw you all over. Be original cretins. And FYI- my thoughts aren't that original I am sure. Probably everyone who read the book thought the same thing. AND my research numbers alone prove that you are all turning in the same thing. How 'bout them apples?

Go read the flipping book. It was good. You probably know that from reading my just-for-fun report. If knowledge is power, reading is an arsenal in your hands. But use your arsenal for peace. That is another lesson from the book. That is all.

The Disturbing Possibilities......

I finally finished the book that had been creeping me out. For anyone who is interested it was called The Historian and is about a girl researching the real history of Dracula and her family's past. It is not what I would call an easy read- when they say she is a historian we are talking medieval source docs and stuff and hours spent slaving over archives in musty libraries. This is no action packed Underworld type book. At most points at least.

So anyways, I finished it. I learned all kinds of information which I am not sure if it is all true(the research- not the are vampires real part) as some was obviously embellished for the story's sake, but the author really is a historian so.... my point is I'm not scared of vampires. I'm scared more of the other creepy stuff taking place in the book. For instance:

1) People getting drowsy while studying in their carrel in an almost empty library and waking to find that someone has been watching them and left them a present.

2) People finding out when you research subjects that are taboo to them (ie- what if the library had hackers who could see when you looked up research on ....carrots... and the wrath of the National carrot council came down upon you at your home one day). This most likely is reality. I wouldn't doubt that the NSA or CIA keeps track of what books get checked out or tracks IP addresses to see what websites get looked at. It's just creepy if it got into the hands of people who work for foreign governments or other special interest groups. In the book, it was Dracula psychically knowing you researched him. YIKES!!

3) The scary Eastern European countries in the 70's. You weren't really allowed to go there. And if you got in you ran ALOT of risk of not coming back due to being accused of spying etc. This would also still apply today to any number of countries.

In most of my favorite scary movies and books the key element of the plot is the disturbing possibility that parts of the story COULD be real. AHHHH!!! This is why I am a lover of the psychological thriller and not gore.

Here are some of my favorite movies:

1. Vertigo- Holy Crap- what an amazing movie and concept. If you didn't already know I worshipped Alfred Hitchcock here is your notice. Rear Window is also sheer genius, but I like the way Vertigo messes with your mind even more and makes the supernatural believable.

2. The Others- I like the use of Catholic Ritual which is creepy in and of itself, the children's allergy to light, the locking and shutting of doors, and how the fog almost becomes a character. I can't even tell you how much the pictures scare me. Why? Because they do exist in reality.

3. Dead Again- this is a classic for me. Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson are amazing. The first movie that introduced me to the concept of a movie with disturbing elements of truth mixed with more improbable stuff. Would I accept past lives on their own as a possibility? No. But can I dismiss having dreams that seem too real with info that you aren't sure how you know....uhhh....not completely. Awesome! Although the end is gory and cheesy. I love the buildup.

I know there are more but my brain is still focusing on the injustice that I cannot immediately visit Istanbul and Romania and Bulgaria and France to see the main sites in The Historian. ARG! I need to travel hard core.

Peeping through my fingers doesn't work so well for reading

Ever been so creeped out that you needed to be with another alive and friendly human being in order to read a book or watch a scary movie? It's a necessity sometimes.

Back in college I was in a late night showing of "What Lies Beneath", maybe it wouldn't be super creepy by daylight, but our filmstrip got messed up after like 5 minutes of movie. Just where it got a little creepy. Then an hour later they restarted the movie and we didn't get out til like 2 am. I am telling you......driving through a completely empty small town in the middle of a weeknight after a creepy movie......my roommate and I were so glad we had each other. We screamed out loud multiple times. So embarrassing, but alone- I can't even imagine how awful.

When I watched "The Grudge" my friend Rindi and I had to take breathing breaks because the movie was so intense. I also lost some skin on my leg to her nails. I think we needed an actual male presence to handle that one. It would have been much better. She is also the person who let out a blood-curdling scream in The Village before anything happened that made everyone in the theater start laughing at her. She also bruised my thighs with the nails (that time I had jeans on).

I bring this up because I have a most-likely very lame show DVR'd. I have had it there for like 2 months now. My sister and I are determined to watch it together for moral support. I think it is too lame for my dad though. There is always the fear though- what if it's not lame but really scary!?!?! My sister and I are about as effective at relieving each others fear as Shaggy and Scooby.

And the most pathetic of all is the need for moral support while reading a book. Unfortunately I usually don't realize I am thoroughly freaked out until it is like 2 am and I am alone in the dark house listening to the AC and some mysterious rustling outside my window just as the AC turns off. Then I sit in bed sure that there is a mass murderer peeping at me. And my heart races and it takes me an hour to go to bed. ARG!

This happened last night. Reading about an undead librarian chasing young academic researchers through the library stacks and stalking them all over Europe apparently seemed more of a reality at 2 am last night. Now I feel stupid. But I will most likely get freaked again tonight. I may have to just stay up suuuuper late and finish the book so that there is closure and I know good triumphs etc. I have a bad feeling that may not be in the cards though. YIKES!

Erica's Book Report - A Thousand Splendid Suns

I just finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns- the second book by Khaled Hosseini. It was really good but in a totally different way than The Kite Runner. I had heard from MANY people that the second book was just not as good and that they didn't even finish it. I finally had some free time to read it this past week and I have to say - it made me question why it was so criticized. It started a whole line of thought for me. Without further ado....

To start off objectively in my little book report I will compare why I thought the two books were so different. The Kite Runner is written following a boy's life until he becomes a man. The tragedies in his life have much to do with personal decisions and some smaller part to do with political things going on with him growing up in Afghanistan. It paints a vivid picture of life there and breaks your heart with the choices he makes and his personal journey for some resolution in his life and to be able to live with himself. A Thousand Splendid Suns covers the lives of more than one woman living in different circumstances in Afghanistan until they intersect and then continues from there. The tragedies of this book are mostly caused by the position of women in Muslim society during the constantly changing political and religious climate of Afghanistan over the past 30 years. The problems also have to do with abusive men, but I am not even going to go into the whys and hows of what makes men beat their wives. Especially in a culture with such widely varying views of women's place in the world. I am just going to blame it mostly on religious extremism and the culture of subservience.

I sat down and thought about the two books after I had finished and wondered why the second book was not as widely appreciated. It was written just as well. I think alot of it has to do with the subject matter. For SO many reasons. First of all, the main lessons I learned by reading A Thousand Splendid Suns are about the difficulties of uniting such a divided nation as Afghanistan. I think everything about the Middle East is SUCH a mess. There is no easy solution. While some Muslims think that jihad is justified and others do not there is always going to be lots of violence. Economies cannot thrive or even rebuild when the population is getting picked off bomb by bomb. The book was very vivid in recounting the women's terror filled lives. Terror from the control of their husband and from the violence around them. If you compare those lessons to The Kite Runner, the lessons are very different. The lessons in The Kite Runner are very universal and not as politically motivated. It is not so much a history book as the story of one man and him trying to correct mistakes he made.

I wonder to myself if the reason people like The Kite Runner is that they connect more to a story about a person they relate to better. Is the universal lesson easier to deal with or more interesting than the lessons about one society or country or culture?

Then I watched part of a show on the History Channel about the history of comedy. It interviewed tons of comedians about how they were inspired and what they thought was funny. Then they changed to a subject I had never even considered. The segment was about the fact that men don't consider women to be funny. And let me tell you, every one of the female comedians had some stories to tell on the subject about offensive men in their audiences. All the male comedians tried to be nice, but a few came out and said that they didn't think women were as funny except for a small rare few. One said the subjects women comics want to talk about- ie. cleaning, kids, dating, complaining about men, bore him and he has no interest. I thought it was the evil taking the truth to be hard but whatever.

So to go back to the book report.....I thought to myself -I wonder if this applies to these books? Do men want to read a book about women being abused? Do men only like to read books about men? I am not a man so I couldn't say, but I think it is a very true thing that men are very ...man-centric... in their likes. Guys I know like(or maybe I should say respect) male singers, male writers, male actors, male comedians, they only watch informational shows if hosted by men(sorry Katie Couric). The women that entertain them do so only as objects in the periphery.

Another thought that this inspired is that knowing that you are an internationally famous author, and everyone is waiting on your next book, how do you decide on the subject matter. Did he decide to write this book knowing less people would like it but it would touch an ugly subject that needed to be unveiled? Or did he really think it would be as big a hit as the first book?

And to end your curiosity and satisfy inquiring minds, I did like The Kite Runner better, but not in a way that I feel diminishes the greatness of A Thousand Splendid Suns. I think, for myself, that the universal themes of redemption in The Kite Runner probably couldn't be duplicated endlessly over a career. I don't think anyone could write and endless amount of books with that much punch over their career.

These are the things that make me go Hmmmmmmm.

Hmmm.....To Read or not to Read?

So I watched the Memory Keeper's Daughter(a new Lifetime movie) tonight after I got home. I had been recommended the book by my grandma last summer but her buddies never gave her copy back and I forgot about it. A month back I remembered about it and put it on hold at the library. So when did I get a call about it being in? Saturday night!!

The movie was on this weekend but I DVR'd it since I was working at the hospital. I picked up the book today, but now I am wondering...do I want to read it? I already watched the movie and it was just OK. Dermot Mulroney and Gretchen Mol are now on my short list of actors who cannot act extremes of emotion. Watching her give birth and cry and him cry ......ACK!! So bad!! I am wondering... since that started out the movie on a bad note, did it prejudice me?

Anyone read it that can give me comments? I feel like I need more detail about the characters to really attach myself to the story. Was this version shortened?

Ug. What a disappointment. I wanted a good cryfest and nada.

In other good news I also picked up my hold for the DVD of The Mayor of Casterbridge BBC movie. Wheeeee! I heart Ciaran Hinds. I hope this is good for my movie and study time tomorrow. I find that BBC movies of literary classics are like Pizza. Even a bad one is still good.

In my never-ending quest to survive the writers' strike, I started renting an old Hugh Laurie series a few weeks ago from the library. It's called Jeeves and Wooster. If you enjoy him as house, this will give you an ENTIRELY different picture of him. I already knew he was a loon from watching Black Adder, but in this series his Bertie Wooster is so cute! He has rosy cheeks dang it! Who knew?

If you hear me saying " I say, I say" or "dashed bad luck" later on it's his fault.