My New Pup- as yet unnamed

It's a girl! My new puppy- freshly washed and home from the SPCA!!!! 

Now that my blog is already a total downer.....

SO I got robbed of a puppy this weekend. Not once but TWICE.

I found out that I can't have new puppies at my apartments complex so I need to get a dog like...yesterday to make sure it's old enough when I move in. I am not one to be forced into dog-motherhood by outside forces, but I found the cutest dog ever online this Friday night. Her name was Molly(more on that) and she was a pug-chihuahua-terrier mix which translated to looking like none of those breeds, but a sweet teeny white and tan English bulldog with a smooshy nose. SO STINKING CUTE!!!!

So I go visit her at Petsmart Saturday morning and long story short I made it to the top of the list and she was mine. Only prob- all prospective parents need a home visit from the rescue agency. They were supposed to stop by and look and leave the dog with me right after the Petsmart event closed. So I waited at home. Dee deee. Check watch.....an hour passes. It sure must take alot of time to pack up puppies in crates.....crickets chirp... paint dries... So finally my mom produces the rescue president's card out of her purse which we have been looking for for an hour. I call her. Where is Molly? She says.....uh.......you don't have your dog yet??? Let me call the lady who was gonna drop her off.

So ten minutes later......OOOPS!!! The lady drove your dog over to the house of another applicant further down the list cause she got the applicants order mixed up. Sorry!!! Want an adult chihuahua consolation prize?? No? Ok bye!

So I miss my evening plans waiting around and don't get my precious dog. Woe is me. What a disorganized pain!!! My heart is ripped out. Blah Blah.

Then like an hour later she calls again. Ummmm....you wanted the pug Molly right? Not the shepherd Molly? I say yes....the pug was supposed to be mine. So she says........OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I made a huge mistake. We didn't give your dog away!!!! I can be at your house ASAP if you want!! I say no- you can just come tomorrow. That's fine. So we arrange to meet at noon.

I go buy my dog a collar and leash, food, a bed. And spend all night thinking of puppy names and typing up a list.

So this morning at 11:30 she leaves me a voicemail that OOOOPS!!! She did give my dog away. And OOOPSSS!!! A tragic accident this morning killed the brother of my dog so there's no other options. And she can't talk now- she's too scarred by the accident.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY!!!??? I mean she got me mad the first time she screwed up. Really mad. But to call me and reconfirm I was actually gonna get my dog and still be mistaken???I mean- how did she confirm that she still had my dog? I am not sure how you can be wrong about still having a pug among 10 chihuahuas. Especially after spending an hour double checking. And to share the unnecessary but painful info that the other puppy died???

My heart got ripped apart 2 times for NO REASON!!!!! GRRRRRR!!!!!

So basically had she been competent in any way I would have gotten my dog at 5 yesterday and the other pup would have gone to a runner-up applicant. But no. She screwed up so badly that not only did the wrong people get my dog, but one died at her house???

Also- apparently they thought they were being cute and cashing in on "Marley and me" and had a litter of pugs(mine) and a litter of shepherds that they all gave the same names all starting with "m" so they were all mollyies and marlies and maggies etc. And they had leftover M chihuahuas from other litters. Ummmm....I think anyone could have said that was a stupid idea. They couldn't even keep track in conversation at Petsmart of who they were talking about.

If I am in a pissy mood for like the next ......year....you all will know why. She has messed up all my "happy places" cause my calming thoughts usually involve cuddling with dogs, and the prospect of my new apartment. Both of which are now tainted.

And no, I don't want to go to the local shelter and get a pit bull mix to fill the void. And yes I have tried to find another cute small dog on Petfinder today and they are all ugly and awful and have behavior probs cause they are the Sunday night leftovers.

And to all you a-holes on craigslist......NO, nobody wants your 3 yr old lab/pit mix now that she's badly trained and you are sick of her and also NO, nobody is gonna take her off your hands AND pay a "rehoming" fee of 500 dollars!!!! What the?? A rehoming fee?? Sorry Billy Ray, your idea of how to get more drinkin' money crapped out.

AAAHHHHHHHH!! The humanity!!!!!!!!

FUTURE SERIAL KILLERS PLANET

This is my precious doggie Holly who is now chasing squirrels in heaven. She was pretty much the bestest dog ever. Smart. Licky. High Maintenance. She knew what you wanted but she wouldn't do it. Just give you a dirty look and then demand you pet her more. She was a HUGE Diva. I miss her tons and am anticipating the day when I can get a dog again when I move. My point is- I looooove dogs. I love pretty much all animals except those with scales. I am apathetic to the scaly ones. The only reason I am not a vet is I figured being allergic to cats was not a plus and also I CAN'T STAND animals in pain. It makes me insane.

So here is the main reason for this blog. Those unfeeling wretches who are behind the programming at what they slyly call Animal Planet, but is actually viewing for future serial killers(fyi for the uninformed- huge link between killing/hurting animals as a child and serial killing as adult). Supposedly the concept of Animal Planet is that people can't get enough nature shows about the lair of the mighty eagle, or the migration of the wildebeest in winter, or the slightly violent shows for the little boys who love fighting- When Guinea Pigs Attack! They need more animals. They need them so bad they need their own channel and they should call it a planet. So they got Meercat Manor and other shows where you test out different types of pets. And animals training shows. And straight up animals competitions.

Then suddenly the sick reality TV craze hit. And I want to know WHO thought that people who love animals needed more shows where they are abused or tortured or in visible pain and agony? Thank you sooooo much for endless episodes of Animal Precinct where they find all of the hovels full of sick, maimed, neglected, and half-dead animals or the pit bulls after they are abandoned for dead post-fight. Or-joy- they confront the people who are abusing the animals and fine them or speak harsh words to them before returning their animal two weeks later. Or you can watch the lovely Emergency Vets- slightly more watchable because sometimes there is a joyous reunion between owner and pet after the pet is better. But half the time it's an owner bringing in roadkill and getting the bad news. Or seeing an animal just suffering and crying while the doctors work on it. AAAAAHHHHH! I can't STAND this stuff. What's next? CSI Petco? How on earth is seeing hurt pets part of any sane programming plan to cater to animal lovers??? It makes NO sense to me. And do I watch Animal Planet- almost never. Except the Puppybowl during the Superbowl halftime. If I'm flipping channels I can't flip fast enough to get past the whimpering.

Someone needs to rethink that channel. It is catering to two totally different audiences. They need a cute fluffy informational planet and a violent gore planet. And the two should not cross over. The orbits are separate and support different life forms.

Surprise!!! I Heart Animals!!! Who Knew??

Today's blog comes to you after one of those fabulous sunny Saturdays you dream about all winter. I have been craving a visit to the zoo and the stars lined up and fates collided etc. so my sister and I went today- on the most beautiful day ever. PERFECT. sigh. Hot enough to tan but not to sweat. C'est Magnifique.

So here's me with the flamingos. These were the less smelly flamingos(but not "lesser flamingos" if you are a flamingo connosieur- the lessers were the smellies- one wonders if their name comes from a depressive reaction to their name or the name from the smell/size ...a whole chicken/egg debate could ensue I am sure)


Here's my sister at a total photo op I found. Hello perfect framing??!! I am the bomb. What a supermodel.

Here's my fave aminal (yes that is what I call them sometimes because they like baby names- it makes them feel loved- just like sometimes I say paskettios because that makes them taste better). Isn't he a beautiful creature!!!! I want to pet his velvety fur and hear him purr like a kitty and call him Mr. Knightly!! Except he would devour me. Slight flaw in hugging furry aminal plan.

Here we see a hungry hungry hippo! He was hungry for both food and love if you get my drift. His mate was getting worn out with swimming away from him. See the blob in front of him-fat hippo legs pedaling under water as swiftly as possible. That's her with a headache, dirty hair, work, family visiting this weekend. He is either clueless or very persistent. Poor hippette.

And here we have the "Chargrilled Aging Porn Star with Beginning Stage Emphysema on Obligatory Day out with Angelically Cute Progeny". She was walking along screaming and cussing in the loudest 2 pack a day voice possible. Angel Child: Mommy- wewe's the wion? CAPS: Somewhere else right now- maybe in his den. AC: Wewe's de Den? CAPS: HOW THE %^%&SHOULD I KNOW JUST MOVE TO THE NEXT ANIMAL!!!! MOVE THE #&^$#& ALONG OR I SWEAR I'LL&@*& DRAG YOU @&#(@#& GET YOUR @*#@*#&*@ MOVING!!!!!

Notice her natural coat. The FFF Cup size bra with completely see-through tank. The natural stance of the CAPS is tilted slightly forward as the front of her is too heavy for her torso to support.

Since I blacked out her face for privacy's sake you cannot see that fact that her face is that of a 50 year old. SOOO BURNT OUT FROM TANNING. ICK. I wish it had been her grandchild but it wasn't.

There are many more animal pics. I heart them so. I love all the furry ones. Not so much the feathery ones or the scaly ones. Definitely not the creepy crawlies. I really really love the mammalian in water ones, but you gotta go to SeaWorld to see them. How I love sea lions and otters! And dolphins. sigh. As with all trips to anywhere to see animals I want to bring them home with me and cuddle with them or set them free from their prisons. It makes me depressed to see them in stinky small habitats bored out of their minds. Then again they could be in Argentina either running free and attacking visitors or practically in a kennel. Don't even get me started on that zoo. Stupid mean monkey. I wanted to eat that peach. I still want it back. Jerk.

Anyways. Here's my zoo day. I also ate on the patio at Joe T. Garcia's and had a virgin margarita and fajitas. What a perfect day. Then I went to my fabulous former roomie's bachelorette and ate cupcakes and saw my friends I haven't seen in a long time. So fun!! And now I will go off to bed all toasty and tired from spending the day in the sun. Bliss!!! Oh, that all Saturdays could be so perfect!

Dogs

So here is a bizarre little topic, but to anyone who has seen me around dogs it's probably not surprising.

Do I really love dogs more than the average dog owner? I am beginning to think so.

So I conned my parents(but not really since my dad wants a dog bad supposedly-now I'm not so sure) into going to a shelter this morning to look at dogs and after arriving there my mom looks at a few dogs in their cages and is all.....OK I'm ready to leave. No dogs I want here.

Meanwhile I am like nose to nose with a cutie named Tailspin telling her I will pick her out a little brother or sister from the other dogs and get two of them to keep each other company.

I turn around and in a flash my parents were gone. My sister and I had notes as to all the combos of puppies we wanted to get out and see if they got along. What the HECK happened?

OH my goodness- people these puppies were adorable!!! And they had some like a year old so that you already have them potty trained etc too just in case you don't want the baby puppy phase.

My sister and I lost my parents in the hallway and by the time we got to the front they were pulling the car out to leave without us. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??

So we get in the car and my mom tells me that she does want a dog but none of the dogs there were special. For reals- It's a miracle I'm still speaking to the woman. How can you be a dog lover and go to a shelter with TONS of dogs and not care about any of them? It completely mystifies me. I fall in love with like....tons of dogs all the time. I am just not as picky as her. Not that I'm not specific about the kind of dog I want - I mean there are soooo many abandoned dogs out there I can decide I only want one with 3 legs and a black patch on one eye that meows like a cat instead of barks and probably 2 or 3 shelters will have a dog like that.

I am just annoyed. I am never gonna get a dog. And I feel about dogs sort of like Jesus does about the little children I think. I love them all and I make no distinctions between them. Unless they pee when they get excited or smell bad. And if you wash the smelly ones I love them too.

Sigh.

How can people have hearts of ice? I am so sorry Tailspin. Mom knows not what she does.

Playing Hooky

Word people. I am soo beat down from my recent homework/tests/ upcoming presentation and job interview. I took the most awful test of all time yesterday after getting like 4 hrs of sleep and then got home from school at like 4. I tried to relax and organize myself but i just felt drained.


So I tried to go to bed early to feel better. Then the awful storm last night struck. It was like lightning-ville outside my window.


This morning my alarm went off at 5 and I was like FOR THE LOVE!!!! NO!!!!!!!!


So as I was lying there in the rainy dark ...like a million lame excuses for not getting out of bed ran through my mind. All of my reasoning did not work. So then I started calculating my grade if I missed and decided maybe I could risk it. So I realize I need to wait like an hour to call in to my teacher so she's definitely awake etc. Hmmm...what dread disease can I have that will get me out of today but back by tomorrow- without a doctor's note? A MIGRAINE!! GENIUS!!!!


So then I start to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and POW I fall back on my bed with dizzying pain and nausea. I poke at my temples and massage my neck.


Nope- not a strained neck, not sinuses. I ACTUALLY HAD A MIGRAINE. And then I am lying there for the next hour waiting to call my teacher and tell her about my real excuse now. And wishing for a swift death or for my drugs to work.


It's a real dilemma taking a caffeine OD pill when you know half the reason you probably have the migraine is sleep deprivation. SO I took some tylenol and prayed in the dark. And blamed the stupid lightning for triggering the seizure center of my brain.


So anyways eventually I fell back asleep. But I was wondering .....if I had not been such a bad girl would I have still had the migraine or was I cursed with the very substance of my lies? I have always been afraid of exaggerating an illness for the very reason that God would strike me down with what I was embellishing with to make me appreciate my health.


I spent my day sleeping, doing homework, paying bills, working tonight at the McKinney health clinic I am volunteering at cause I can't really call in there, plus there is no just taking a lower grade- I HAVE to have the hours there. But it was great. I heart the kids!


What a nice day all in all. I mean I did have to do necessary stuff all day, but it was nice to finally wake up feeling less crappy and and get stuff done at a slower pace than my typical weekend homework bonanza.


OOOoh.....And I looked online at the cutest puppy today!! My dad needs to get it for me. Bad.