Here's Your Sign- The Seattle Edition

I just got back from a fabulous trip to Seattle for the Breaking Dawn concert series. I will be posting more pics later, but for now a photo montage of the ridiculous things I saw in Seattle. Other than the girl dressed up as a lamb bride at the concert.


Our Hotel - By European style, they mean we provide you nothing but a bed. And the self-righteous feeling all environmentalists get for "conserving water" with each flush of the communal toilets.

A) How on EARTH could anyone start a business for Port-a-Potties and call it Honey Bucket???? And B) all I could think of was Honey Buckets of Oats. Which is even more wrong.

Safety cones are now avant garde art. (I had the voice of Mike Myers running through my head "If it's not scottish it's crap!" Actually he was mostly just saying "It's crap" in my head with a scottish accent)

Take your filthy paws off my silky drawers.

I confess to the sin of gluttony. And not being repentant at all for my gluttony.

You are now entering the LOVE ZONE. I enjoy that the "Love Zone" is also the place to get classy nails. I agree with an old friend that the minute you actually say the word "classy" something becomes NOT classy.

Ok-more fun later. And Hey You..... Grubby Hands!!! Keep your mits off those ripe cherries.

Hott Springz- The Top 10

Could my weekend have been any more hilarious? I doubt it. Let us add up all the elements that led to the awesomeness since Alison covered only some of the weekend on her blog.

1) Driving every wrong way possible on what appeared to be one highway but apparently had a bunch of turn offs. Then doing it again. And again. Then 4 hours of success. Then another completely non labeled highway turn off. Greatness.

2) Who knew Cher sounded so awesome singing the Immaculate Collection?

3) Hugh Dancy was in 2 movies we watched......and british and adorable and putting his feeling out there yet he somehow seems a little vulnerable which is rare in a man. I'll stop talking now.

4) Semi-drunkenness from lack of sleep, old bathhouse for pedis, patio full o' junk, homeless looking man in a wife beater...wait....look again!!!

Man with wife beater shaped tan lines. I seriously bet people heard us cackling for miles from our vantage point at the top of the bathhouse.

5) Man on bike giving us a quick little handout and riding quickly away- to tell us we were going to HELL.

Well apparently there MUST be friends in hell as everyone I know is going there according to his little booklet. It will be one rockin partay. Holla!

6) Fish shaped everything in our house. Fish platters and plates and commemorative stamps and paintings and pillows and wall hangings. Really the best were the MASSIVE fish shaped pillows in the living room. I wish this picture of Aibi showed the catfish's incredibly unbalanced whiskers. One was really long and the other short. Priceless.

7) An electronic keyboard+ The theme to Deliverance+Strings setting= Emo Deliverance. It made me want to cut myself while gutting a fish.

8)An unending string of justifications to eat every dessert in the place consecutively the first night.

a) We need matches so we can't have smores. I'll have fruit and a weight watchers ice cream.

b) Bomb Pops are practically water anyways and it's still hot out.

c) I am still slightly hungry and we need to wait up for Amy and Aibi so a chocolate chip cookie will give me a caffeine boost.

d) Technically you don't need a fire for smores- you can make them golden on the stovetop. Shame to have smores only one night when it could have been two. Shame to eat only one smore.

9) Here's to CHAD awareness and support. Whatever the heck CHAD actually was.

10) Staying up late for Aibi and Amy was worth it just to watch Best Week Ever(I guarantee it!) and Bear Grylls(this part of the monitor is sooo tasty!)

Ladies- I miss you all already. What a weekend.

Some days it's good to be me

So this post was suggested by my sister as one of her favorite parts of Zoo Day.

As we are waiting in the long line to eat on the patio at Joe T's, we got to hear all kinds of lovely super intelligent conversation. There was a couple in front of us with a preppy frat boy guy and his plastic wife. Both mid 30's at a guess but she's dressing like she is on the Pussycat Dolls Wanna-be show. So as we are waiting 2 other couples join them. Each of the men seemingly pretty funny and grasping at their former frat boy glory. The women.......holy cow. Every one of those girls had a fake rack and chiclet teeth and fake tan and nails and bared bellies and not an intelligent thought in their heads. And every one of them was dressed in hoochie gear for the 18 year old Rihanna wanna-be. I would almost say Fergie wanna be, but I hesitate to bestow that rare honor. (For Alison's enjoyment- I think they each had a different faux camo hat on! In their mid 30's - it was priceless!)

My immediate thought was that the girls MUST work together. And you can guess where I think they work too. Ha. But anyways the real fun was listening to their stupid conversations. WOW! Woweeewowow.

One was mortally afraid of a bee and ran off shrieking. Then the asian collagen queen gets in to deep thoughts about bee stings and how she's never had one. Then she proceeds to quiz everyone about bee stings. For a long time. A lot of WOW and OMG's with wide eyes and pursed lips. Bees are so harsh. Oooooooo.

So then her man is all- I'm going to the bar to get a drink while we wait. So he offers to get stuff for everyone and he asks her and she says she wants a toothpick. I am thinking to myself....is this a new drink I haven't heard of? No she literally wanted a toothpick. So she proceeded to pick at her gums until they bled profusely with her toothpick. And used the blood covered toothpick in conversation to point and gesture and then went back to pickin away -I seriously got a little nauseous. As did everyone in her group I think. Her hubby made himself scarce the minute he gave her the offending object. He must have known what was coming.

Watching her sit there thinking she was the queen of cool and have bleeding gums and a nasty old toothpick was priceless. SO GROSS!! She will never be a Pussycat with that gross personal habit. I can't believe her man is still with her after watching that display. (Which- FYI Kris- while you were washing your hands ....he and the other one in the polo tried to start talking to me cause one of the girls had asked me a question and suddenly I must have seemed like an oasis in the desert. The girls lost interest after I answered them and the guys were all HELLO, but I was all....um....I think not !! They seemed very disappointed when I clammed up and they had to listen to their wives again. SUCKAS- you married the airheads- have fun with that!!!)

So that is my other story from Zoo Day. My lack of silicone, collagen, microdermabrasion, self-absorption, cancer, functional illiteracy and laxatives was never so much on comparison in one day. Boy did I come out the winner!!! Go normal girls! Wheeee! I know the guys wanna get wit that!!! Brain cells are the new black. OH SNAP!

Surprise!!! I Heart Animals!!! Who Knew??

Today's blog comes to you after one of those fabulous sunny Saturdays you dream about all winter. I have been craving a visit to the zoo and the stars lined up and fates collided etc. so my sister and I went today- on the most beautiful day ever. PERFECT. sigh. Hot enough to tan but not to sweat. C'est Magnifique.

So here's me with the flamingos. These were the less smelly flamingos(but not "lesser flamingos" if you are a flamingo connosieur- the lessers were the smellies- one wonders if their name comes from a depressive reaction to their name or the name from the smell/size ...a whole chicken/egg debate could ensue I am sure)


Here's my sister at a total photo op I found. Hello perfect framing??!! I am the bomb. What a supermodel.

Here's my fave aminal (yes that is what I call them sometimes because they like baby names- it makes them feel loved- just like sometimes I say paskettios because that makes them taste better). Isn't he a beautiful creature!!!! I want to pet his velvety fur and hear him purr like a kitty and call him Mr. Knightly!! Except he would devour me. Slight flaw in hugging furry aminal plan.

Here we see a hungry hungry hippo! He was hungry for both food and love if you get my drift. His mate was getting worn out with swimming away from him. See the blob in front of him-fat hippo legs pedaling under water as swiftly as possible. That's her with a headache, dirty hair, work, family visiting this weekend. He is either clueless or very persistent. Poor hippette.

And here we have the "Chargrilled Aging Porn Star with Beginning Stage Emphysema on Obligatory Day out with Angelically Cute Progeny". She was walking along screaming and cussing in the loudest 2 pack a day voice possible. Angel Child: Mommy- wewe's the wion? CAPS: Somewhere else right now- maybe in his den. AC: Wewe's de Den? CAPS: HOW THE %^%&SHOULD I KNOW JUST MOVE TO THE NEXT ANIMAL!!!! MOVE THE #&^$#& ALONG OR I SWEAR I'LL&@*& DRAG YOU @&#(@#& GET YOUR @*#@*#&*@ MOVING!!!!!

Notice her natural coat. The FFF Cup size bra with completely see-through tank. The natural stance of the CAPS is tilted slightly forward as the front of her is too heavy for her torso to support.

Since I blacked out her face for privacy's sake you cannot see that fact that her face is that of a 50 year old. SOOO BURNT OUT FROM TANNING. ICK. I wish it had been her grandchild but it wasn't.

There are many more animal pics. I heart them so. I love all the furry ones. Not so much the feathery ones or the scaly ones. Definitely not the creepy crawlies. I really really love the mammalian in water ones, but you gotta go to SeaWorld to see them. How I love sea lions and otters! And dolphins. sigh. As with all trips to anywhere to see animals I want to bring them home with me and cuddle with them or set them free from their prisons. It makes me depressed to see them in stinky small habitats bored out of their minds. Then again they could be in Argentina either running free and attacking visitors or practically in a kennel. Don't even get me started on that zoo. Stupid mean monkey. I wanted to eat that peach. I still want it back. Jerk.

Anyways. Here's my zoo day. I also ate on the patio at Joe T. Garcia's and had a virgin margarita and fajitas. What a perfect day. Then I went to my fabulous former roomie's bachelorette and ate cupcakes and saw my friends I haven't seen in a long time. So fun!! And now I will go off to bed all toasty and tired from spending the day in the sun. Bliss!!! Oh, that all Saturdays could be so perfect!

The Totally Hat-tastic Blog

Hey Fwiends! It's a less-drug-induced thought from your good old pal Erica!

Today Erika P. and I went hat shopping to get ideas for a class she is taking later on and had tons o' fun! I heart hats. I would never ever wear them in daily life....or ever really....but DANG IT... you all KNOW I love costumes. And I will totally take any costume type opportunity to wear a crazy hat. They really seem to define characters so well. Take my Mrs. Peacock teardrop shaped 40's style number that I made myself. It rocked. I won the Clue costume contest and I give all the credit to the hat.

Today Erika P and I rocked Steinmart and Nordstrom Rack. Really the only stores we could think of with hats. So here are a few of my fave selections. I am putting ones of me as I have my own full permission to humiliate myself. I am putting my fave Erika P hat though at the end. Cause she looks so pretty she shouldn't mind.

Here is the many colored green slouchy hat. If I had bought a hat....this would be the one. You know I love green. And that it was slightly slouchy and many shades..... with a big flowah!! Hold me back!

Here is the Cruella De Ville hat. I was trying to look Ferocia Coutura obviously unsuccessfully. Yikes. Once again. How many times do I need to learn the lesson that sucking in the cheeks/= evil cheekbones. ARGH. Just looks like a I need a straw . Truly this hat needs a unspeakably fatal(black) outfit to bring it out. I wish I had thought of dressing up in a neutral palette for our trip instead of in the Erica-standard green+brown hoodie.

I hearted this hat too. I was like totally channeling Gatsby characters in this hat. It almost gives me an angelic glow if you will. Like maybe the thoughts inside that head aren't pure e-vil fr-uits of the de-vil. Ting! That's me flicking my halo!

And finally Erika P. Isn't this hat awesome! It's very feminine and flowy. But not huge. I have to admit I was all about the drama of the hats, but this was cute and simple. And Erika has dimples which make it look even more innocent than my hats. Not fair!

I really need to keep my camera with me more. I think I need to document all the hats I see from now on. Cause hat pics are FU-UN!!! Totally a party on your head!

Who needs a Valentine?? Not I said the Super-Fly

Happy Valentine's Bloggy!!!


Aww!! Stuffed Puppies hugging!!! Such was my valentines day!! Or as I like to call it "Cheap hallmark gift from your parents to pretend the occasion is not another reminder of their failure in raising you because somehow you cannot fulfill your purpose in life and just get married" Day. Wheeee!!!

The first part of the day stunk. I had a group presentation to do at school. Then after that was finally over I had to sit through this crazy rude woman's recruiting efforts for the UT southwestern medical center system. But we got free lunch.

Then I left school, finally a free woman. No major projects or tests for a few weeks. BLISS !! I thought just getting to sleep tonight would be my reward but I was mistaken.

Fate decided to bestow upon me a rare gift. A pair of shoes that were meant to be mine. Bloggy, do you remember me whining that I found my dream shoes back in December and when I went to buy them a few days later they were gone? I was devastated. I went back to Nordstrom rack like twice afterward that month looking for them. But to no avail. SO....today I decided to go to Nordstrom Rack to celebrate finishing all that stressful stuff instead of face planting onto my bed and losing consciousness like I might normally do. Plus my sneakers are worn down and 4 yrs old and pathetic so I was gonna see if they had any good discounts. And as I wander down the aisle looking for sneakers.....a light shone down from above and rested upon the bestest most erica-ey shoe mine eyes have ever beheld....other than my sexy red shoes which are slammin. It was my dream shoes......those minxes had come back to me!!! And it was the only pair once again. And in my size. AND 50% OFF!!!

Obviously I was being blessed for having survived all of the crap school is putting me through.
Ye shall only receive your shoes after the trial of your faith. Or the trial of your knowledge of Oncology, Chest Trauma, Biliary System, Hematologic Disorders, and Nursing Management of the Change Process. And the trial of your ability to survive without sleep.

Behold the glory........

THEN I came home and my mom had gotten me a card and my dad got me dark chocolate with marzipan ( drool). Then my sister brought home 2 Sprinkles cupcakes for each of us!!! I would have taken a picture of that too but the cupcakes disappeared as if by magic. MMMMMmmm.

I am a master of the disappearing cupcake illusion.

Uh oh...Time for an Obligatory Arrested Development Quote

"Illusions Michael...Illusions. Tricks are for Whores" (magic show music and magician hands go POW)

Ok Sorry......I got way distracted. I love me some Will Arnett.

All in all ...a totally rockin day.

There may not have been romance, but there was love and shoes and chocolate.

And now sleeeeeeeep.

Night Night Bloggy.