The Tale of Shop-E and the Stalk-Squad

Thursday, June 18, 2009 |

Put on your Texas Summer Parkas my friends for the chilling .......

Tale of Shop-E and the Stalk-Squad

Whilst perusing homes earlier in the week Shop-E started snapping pics of the amazing house she was planning to bid on (alas-to no avail) when she realized 3/4 of the pictures reminded her of her evil nemesis' mind .....dark and shady....

OH SNAP!! Shop-E's precious camera- her birthday present after coming home from her mission full of crap-tastic photos, was once again dead. That's right. For the second time. The first time the factory recalled the problem and it got revived for free but this appeared to be Taps for the trusty buddy.

What was a shamelessly shopportunistic girl like Shop-E to do? Check out the open box items online at her local Microcenter and then go to Best Buy to play with the merchandise first.

Our darling Shop-E entered the store and was met by the door greeter/ineffectively skinny security guy. He asked if she needed help. Nope. She walked on to the cameras. To meet up with the official Geek Squad. Nope. And another Geek. Nope. This was getting REDONKULOUS!! Shop-E picked up a few cameras of which only half actually would turn on. How can you pick out a camera if you can't even see it's displays?? At which point (about 30- seconds after entering the camera area and turning down geeks 2 & 3) the manager approaches Shop-E.

"Hello." says the manager(ummmmm...... did I stumble into Buy Mart? thinks Shop-E? It's a big black grumpy manager!! Where's Chuck??)

" Can we help you today? "
"Nope. I know what I'm looking for."
"Well you seem to not want our help."
"You're right. I don't need help. But thanks."
"I'm not sure why you keep turning down help. We are here for you."

At this point Shop-E is ready to give the manager a piece of her mind but decides to shame him instead.

"The only help I really need is for you to make the electrical connection to your cameras actually work. Half of the cameras won't turn on despite being connected with the power light glowing."
The manager turns greenish. "Ummm.......can you show me that?"
Shop-E hands him the camera she is holding which, to his chagrin, is lit up like Christmas on the power connector but won't turn on.
Manager turns to Geek #3." Can you just get one out that has a fresh battery. Heh heh. This camera appears to be...uh... not working well"

Geek #3 opens a new camera and hands it to Shop-E.
Manager then says" Aren't you glad you spoke to us? See we are very helpful!"

Shop-E gives him a look that tells him what she thinks of a store where "help" has to be there to fix broken merchandise.
Shop-E then takes the little camera around to compare it to the others that are actually working. After a few minutes Shop-E decides that none of the cameras are speaking to her. None say " I am zee camera' of jour dreemz E" so she hand the camera back to Geek #3 , says thanks, and heads out.

It is only as Shop-E entered the Half-Price Books next door that she realized her purse was gaping open. She must not have zipped it after getting out of her car. WOW.

And now the question must be answered......was Shop-E being harassed because Best Buy cannot leave people alone for one stinking minute if you are there on a weekday at 2(a valid theory) or did those dorks really think she was gonna shove a camera in her purse??? A camera that was freaking dead bolted to the display table??? There was no portable merchandise in the area she was shopping!! Holy Cow people!!

And her purse is CU-UTE! Not the purse of a stealer one would hope. And so jammed packed she couldn't have fit in a camera with the counter attached one would guess.

And so the episode of Best Buy Harassment with remain a mystery!

And Shop-E might just have to go to Fry's. Where she might get in REAL trouble.